I’m agitated as I write this. I spent about 3½ hours last night trying to come up with a concept for my business card. It’s irritating that when it comes to my personal work, I can’t make headway. Or if I have too much time to come up with a concept for someone else. I could stare at the screen for ages, go through my entire Music library ( and I assure you, that’s a LOT of music), go through copies of other people’s works I have for reference over and over, play around, think of the future, plan my wedding or dream house… and STILL have nothing. We have a term for it, us designers:
Designer’s Block.
It gets me so often, I tend to question my ability to design things at all. Then I enter a mini-depression because I feel I’ve entered the wrong career path, and I’m destined to be nothing else but MEDIOCRE. Just an OKAY artist. I’d also get the feeling I should be in interior design instead (yeah, sometimes I think I have the “gift” for out of the ordinary interior decoration). Then I go on to think, if I can’t design, then what the HELL will I do with my life? Will I end up being one of those people, especially women, that spend the rest of their lives doing whatever job pays well, then going on to open a boutique (cos let’s face it, that just happens too darn often)??? And if THAT happens, won’t I eventually get run down and feel like a failure? Good gracious, at the miserable age of 40, is it possible that I’ll end up jumping of Third Mainland Bridge???
Okay, perhaps the last two questions were a bit too “Linkin Park Lyrics”, but it can be quite dramatic. Of course, eventually I’ll play around a little bit more and end up doing something that would blow my mind… for like a week. Then I’ll just hate it.
I like to think of my need for perfection as a double-edged sword. Sure, it motivates me to do BETTER, but at that rate I’ll NEVER get anything done. I’VE SPENT 6 MONTHS COMING UP WITH A CONCEPT FOR MY BUSINESS CARD FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE!
Or maybe it’s cos I have too much time on my hands (*rubbing chin thoughtfully*). I’d probably get my stuff done faster if I had a deadline. Probably.
Oh my, I’ve just had a flash of inspiration.


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