It’s Raining… Men

//listening to Until the End of Time – Justin Timberlake (Dipo’s, it’s all your fault)//
Yeah, so as of yesterday morning, I wasnt sure what to expect from this week. Yes, despite, beaten and muddied by rain at 5 in the morning just so I could catch the ruddy staff bus. Despite being the first person to get to work, for the first time (and probably the last time,) ever. Despite my hair turning into mush COS of the rain.
I wasn’t sure what to expect.
I was major chuffed cos the rains were back! Hurray! You know what? Rain is sexy. J yes I said it!
But other than which, the day was going along pretty drily. That is, until the following happened:
a. Our manager said he wanted to see me; b. the new guy forgot one of the rules of public relations c. I destroyed the file cabinet and; d. my main stalker’s behaviour got me really blown away by the fact that MEN ARE PIGS.
Didn’t see my boss till 10 minutes to closing time however, and considering what had ensued all day, I was happy for the distraction. Turns out, he’d been notified of my move to IT, but he chose to act like he had just sat down and come up with this great idea. I could have said that I already knew, but he was probably feeling like the hero that saved the damsel corper in career distress, so what kind of person would I be go there? Afterwards though, I felt a slab of guilt. I’d probably get round to doing a lot more things in life I hadn’t been a depressing overdose of conscience at birth. Just because the current department I’m in, is sadly understaffed, and even with 2 corpers there, there’s still pressure.
I know what you’re thinking, this is not my cross to bear, but what can I say, I’m SOFT HEARTED. Nothing can stop me from leaving if… when I get moved though. HE-LLO, career path here! (*snap*)
Anyway, there I am trying to mind my own business, just so the suspiciously friendly (there’s something weird about it) new guy would come up to me, all smiles and greeting. The following happens:

Suspiciously Friendly New Guy: “How was the weekend!?
Wary Me: Uh, it was ok, I guess.
SFNG: Great! Just great!
Wary Me(*organizing some documents, not wishing to be disturbed*): Yeah…
SFNG: Say, is that your real hair?
At that point, I figured he was going to say something complimenting, and if he had, I would have thought he was full of crap, cos my hair wasn’t the best just then (remember, rain?). So to avoid that I said:
Me: Yeah… it’s terrible right now
SFNG: (Nodding) Yeah, very terrible. Why didn’t you do something to it? (
Talk about slap in the face people!
Me: (Dark cloud settling over my features) Rain beat it actually.
SFNG: oh. Okay. (Walks away)

You’re probably wondering what my problem is. Do I need to point it out? From that point, it was like, I began exaggerate his statement. I became paranoid, convinced it really did look like I’d run through the elements 5 times over. And everyone was thinking it. Deep down I knew it wasn’t bad, and I was being silly, but gosh, it BUGGED me. Finally, after AGES of worry, or in realistic terms, 15 minutes I ran into the bathroom with a comb and redid it. All the while hating on that new guy. Turns out, no-one noticed either way. No-one … but the suspiciously-friendly new guy. Fast forward to an hour later:

Me(minding my own biz yet again)
SPNF: Hey! You did your hair!
Me(giving him a chance to LET IT GO): Huh?
SPNF: Your hair!
Me(giving another chance): What about it?
SPNF: You redid it!
Me(feigning a lack of comprehension): No I didn’t.
SPNF(not vey bright when it comes to hints is he?): Yes, you did! It’s different! You did it!
Me: Oh, that, I just combed it… whatever.

I don’t care what YOU think, dude should have let it go. I saw him this morning, daring him with my eyes to make a comment.
Oh, I destroyed our file cabinet yesterday. I leaned on it, forgetting it was over-stuffed, and it gave way. Oops, waves of files, that’s all I can say.

Finally this part may get a little long-winded, but it’s literally close to my heart.
MEN ARE PIGS. Even the nice ones have issues. Why are guys not attuned to monogamy? Why must they represent themselves as weak-willed, poorly-disciplined beings when it comes to the opposite sex? I refuse to think of it as a “guy thing” cos I happen to know one or two… okay, just one guy that respects himself. I cant speak for any other person. You’re all reading this now, going, “ah, that ain’t me”. IT’s A LIE! THAT IS YOU!
I don’t hate anyone for it, it’s your life, but it just makes me want to stay single. I literally hear daily stories of young men, old men ( I could almost understand their own, at least), married men, engaged men, dating men, that are QUITE UNABLE to NOT chase anything in a skirt that’ll answer them. If you want to be promiscuous, I don’t care, but for goodness’ sake, don’t get some attaché you’ll call wife, or girlfriend. It’s INSULTING and DISGUSTING. I really lose a lot of respect for men that cheat. Men that don’t take relationships seriously, or are SERIAL daters.
It gets me. Right here.
What pains me more, is, it’s almost acceptable. There are actually women that “look the other way”. Others joke about it, like they’re talking about a bad habit like… farting when in company. Others assume this false, self-deceiving air of authority, saying, “I don’t care what he does, as long as I/people don’t find out, then I’ll just kill him”. A rare few, go out and get theirs.
And it’s always funny to watch the way these same men react to cheating partners. As in, funny ha ha. They get all messed up and bitter and foolish… I’ve seen it, I assure you. If you don’t like the girl anymore, dude, break up. She’ll be upset, but it shows respect. Keeping her as a “backup” is dirty. Hmm, not sure why I used THAT word, but I think it fits.
And many girls are out there going, ‘uh uh, MY man doesn’t do that’. Well, if it makes you feel better. Granted, there are those that don’t. I feel there are those that it’s SOOOOO obvious they’ll be cheating on you a week after your wedding. If they aren’t already. J
Again, I ask, guys, what’s your problem? Is that how bad you are? How weak you are? Is that how much you don’t respect yourself? I know a few stories of guys whose wives outta town. Her side of the bed wasn’t even cold. Of guys, whose response to “aren’t you engaged” or “aren’t you seeing someone” is “so? I’m not married”. Like that ever stopped anyone. Or “so? The more the merrier!”. That one, I think, was AMAZING. Some have the guts to look guilty, and would go, “I don’t want to honestly, but you know, temptation” or “she’s been gone so long”.
It doesn’t matter if the other woman’s a one-night stand (which is the most ridiculous), or a “temp”, or a full blown relationship. So don’t console yourself with “well, it’s not like I was DATING someone else”.
It’s scientifically proven, no-one, man or woman, was made to not be able to do without sex. You just want to believe you are. You want to blame your weakness on biology. No-one’s to blame, guys, but your RIDICUOLOUS, OVER BLOWN view of your own anatomy.
(*Sigh*) This hurts me, it really does. My stalker was on the phone with his by-the-side girlfriend, and the nasty things he was saying bout her body while staring me in the face like the perv he is, made me wonder.
Am I talking from experience? Honestly, no. But I have become worried by the caliber of men that we have to weed through nowadays. Successful, intelligent, charming little lecherous, scheming bastards. Out there, ruining our perception of the good ones. The good ones, on the other hand… well…
Now that I’ve let that out, my eye’s twitching. Definite sign of stress. I’m going for lunch.


4 thoughts on “It’s Raining… Men

  1. EH cool down?!!!! we all know they are pigs why the blow out now? your stalker must really be getting to u. as for the new guy, tell him in no subtle terms to eat shit and die in a corner far from you.

  2. You certainly are hilariously crazy!

    Neeway, while you may be right on the ever declining essence of the manhood, the way you go @ it makes me want to start ranting on the willy wally’s of you kind. But no will do for me sis.

    Nice blog though.

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