Hellish Stuff

I left my house at 5.30 this morning. Why? Cos of those dam rats! The instant i stepped into my room last night, there it was, ruing of the window in front my bed. I did nothing. Instead, I picked up the bag I dropped and walked out the way I came. My sis and I seriously contemplated telling my dad. But he was being his usual, charming self, complaining about pointless things, and succeeded in pissing us off. You know there’s something wrong if you can’t tell ur father there are creatures living with you cos he won’t be of any use. Sleeping last night was not enjoyable. I had to wrap my feet, and my eyes kept popping open.

I had a dream I got a free laptop and was left home alone. Only for my ‘boyfriend’ to turn up being some cute but annoyingly smiley blond guy(????). Signs of the times?

Anyway, I left early this morning cos D’s not going to work today. I haven’t followed him since Monday cs he didn’t have “fuel”, instead he followed his dad. I’ve already mocked/insulted him sufficiently for that.

But, lo, our staff bus… 3 of them, zoomed past me as I stood at what I was told was the rendezvous point, despite my fanatical waving and looks of desperation. I was seriously considering taking PT, but then this guy stops in front of me. Some middle-aged police officer (STALKER) that lives around me, who (for some reason) I keep jamming, and who I also found to my horror, works as part of the security at my bank.

But I entered.

Cos I’m retarded. It was only about twenty minutes, but it felt like YEARS. He did the usual. Misyanned, asked for my number (of which I gave my old no that’s probably been barred by Celtel), told me how the first day he saw me… you know the rest. But the red light went up when he tried to take my hand. I recoiled so quickly he reversed the action. I stayed in that position till I got to work.

Needless to say I almost flew out before the car stopped. He was acting hurt, asking if I was married (that question has become disturbingly common these days), if not, wasn’t he man enough??? Oh, the revulsion.

I guess I don’t need to say I’ve sworn to not enter the cars of stalkers. These are the moments when I appreciate following D ever so much, even he has his own pervy moments.

At least I can swat him.


8 thoughts on “Hellish Stuff

  1. yes i do know theres a BIG prob..especially wen u cant tell ur dad abt ur worst fears(emmm..urs being rat..RITE..now where was i?)..i cant really tell u how to conquer ur fears on emmmm rats..cos it takes alot of strength,mind focus and courage to that and sorry to say u have to do that ALL BY URSELF.
    well the other problem is to get rid of them..emmm..the rats..that means no leftovers or dumps in the kitchen..no unwashed plates left overnite..and total sanitation of the house/premises..no crumps and dumps in the room..yep u cud deny all u can but i’m sure u do a lil snackin in the room…that taken care of..i’m sorry to tell you thats all YOU can do 4 now…ANTHONY!!..that you cant change..becos well LAGOS wud neva change…The SOuth-WEST wont change..NAIJA wont change(i know i’m begininng to sound unpatroitic..yep, wat dey wanna do about it arrest me..uhhhhh?!, unless you do expose..DONT TRY IT YOUNG LADY)..cos the attitude of dumping,littering etc etc..wont change.govt also aint doing much on drainage systems..so my dear thats all i can offer you..hope you follow the “DOCTOR’S”(yeah rite) instructions…i’m out

  2. as far as the evolution of man..its been noticed some of us(men) cant just control our desires/behaviour(dat being an attitude problem)..wen they see the opposite sex..i mean its always lust or our sexual desires that come first..God bless the lady that ever fell for the line

    “girl..when i first laid my eyes on you it was love at first sight”

    i mean if u tell me girls still fall over such lines..maybe i stepped into the wrong generation

    at first site though..considering both sex(s)..dont you deny neva craving for emmmmmmmm..well cant remember anyone you actually talked or eva liked about to me(men.. u r hard oh, hope u dont end up like the rest of em..u know..single, poor/rich, wretched.)..
    well but this guy.. u min he stepped ova the limit with you..well wat can i say…YOU WERE IN HIS CAR..LOL..
    well my advice on this one is spit straight to their face u dont want anything to do with them.. i mean at first meeting..its like garlic to vampires.well the only thing is in this condition it works on only some of us guys.

    the rest of the men species that cant just accept that..put ur attitude to it..be a rudegal man..show em u gat some really bad side..okayyyyy maybe i’m taking it too far..cos i really know that wont be the real you..but sincerely you aint gat an option

  3. Chux, u said what???
    “well cant remember anyone you actually talked or eva liked about to me(men.. u r hard oh, hope u dont end up like the rest of em..u know..single, poor/rich, wretched.)..”

    DudE!!!! Just cos I never mentioned one doesn’t mean I never did!!! What gives??? And I’m too cute and adorable and LOVABLE to end up… like u said. So, it’s taking a bit to actualy commit, but whatever…
    spitting is our of the q, cos he was a COP, a Nigerian one for tat matter. Are u MAD???

  4. where here? noo… i dont delete comments. (no matter how bad they r. maybe its on another post.

  5. nooooooooooo missie..u took my comment wrongly. i dont mean spit into their faces..i meant u know..think u need a lil calculation here
    spitting into their faces= just telling them the god damn truth…like in a really cold manner that sends shiver down their spine….GET IT

    and then i didnt also direct the qualifications of being wretched & single..dats not a prayer i cud eva give a friend of mine..i care more than you think..i’m not that unthoughtful or harsh

  6. oh. right. well, i dont think u’ve met the guys I’ve met, u can insult their mother and they still won’t take a hint!!!
    and relax… i forgive u for ur intreting choice of words….:)

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