Babies. Kids. CHILDREN. Little angels. Miracles. God’s gifts.
Little devils. Rampaging rugrats. Proverbial pains.
Everyone has their own opinion of them. I once wrote about how I was craving a lil one to cuddle. Just cuddle. Then return. You know like a rental. But that was just a phase I thought I was passing through.
It wasn’t. I’ve actually found myself becoming more open-minded to human beings below the age of 13. I was once initially very disturbed by this because it meant I was becoming in touch with my maternal side. And this only meant to me that I was getting old. But I feel better about it now. I still don’t know what to do with ickle ones beyond pulling their cheeks, but chances are that these days, if you lock me in a room with a 2 year old, you MAY NOT find me pressed against the window an hour later.
They’re really cute things. Most children. Till they cry, of course, then they’re just little torturous monsters who are being difficult to hurt you.
Anyway, I was watching Eastenders last week – YES, I watch Eastenders – And i watched an episode where this woman was in labour and almost gave birth on a train. I watched in amused horror as her body proceeded to do al the things she didn’t want it to do. How she hit her friend who was helping her out, and finally when she finally had the kid, and was at home, her dad was like she shouldn’t be going out so soon cos of the ‘stitches’.
I think that last bit got me the most. STITCHES? Oh gawd. I mentioned this to my sister last night and she upset me further by telling me about her former roommate who was stitched back after birth AND made to sit on hot water.
Once upon a time, I had this romantic view of things, saying, why can’t I go natural, it’s all good. I used to harass B when she used to say she had no plans of a natural birth and I laughed when the other B said I should be her surrogate. Times have changed. And the more stories hear (and the more they all get medically proven), the more HORRIFIED I am of doing things God’s way. Sure, women have been doing it for CENTURIES and whatever, but right now, that’s like saying, people used to travel across countries using donkeys.
It’s possible, but it’s so MUCH easier to fly, isn’t it? My point, exactly.
So, it’s official. I don’t see myself having a natural birth. Call me what you wish. I don’t care. I think it’s fair enough that you have to carry this selfish, heavy being for 9 months, and deal with all the pregnancy drama, bloating, swelling and the likes. In fact I think I’m being very generous.
Besides, that way, if my child ends up hating me in the future, it’ll be like, ‘ah, well, at least i didn’t have to endure 12 hours of excruciating pain’.