Oh, You’re One of THOSE Guys.

Tempted as I was to complain about a certain set of people in my office, I won’t, cos I have realized how easy it is to find this blog. I don’t want wahala.

Instead I will highlight on a certain comment that I’ve heard twice since starting work here 3 months ago, and that’s 2 times too many:

‘Hm, I can’t wait till I marry, so I’ll always have dinner waiting for me…’


Do guys like this still walk the streets of Lagos? Call me ‘a feminist’, call me ‘aggressive’, call me ‘anti-submissive’, and if you’re cute, just call me. But this is one topic where I get very defensive very quickly. The most recent of this was said by the new guy I work with. Now, let’s face it, considering where I work, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a chick that will lay her life down just so some guy can have dinner. The instant the words came out of his mouth, everywoman in a 10-foot radius shot him dark, dirty looks. He didn’t notice.

I came out of my earphone-powered world, and said to him, unable to hide my irritation, ‘Oh, you’re one of THOSE guys.’

He proceeded to argue with me about it, saying it was a woman’s job to cook and clean and the entire chauvinistic BS… and I calmly told him it wasn’t HER JOB. She wasn’t born to be a glorified house help. He proceeded to do that other annoying thing and all on the Bible. I told him to pinpoint the Chapter and verse, and he looked aghast, and was unable to do so. I told him he, like any men before him, have decided to see what they want to see when it came to the Good Book.

He then irritated me further, saying, ‘All you modern women, sef, I can’t even let my wife work like this (by this he meant us).’ I rolled my eyes. ‘So, what are you saying, just because you want ur glorified house help to be home when you get back, she won’t work?’

Finally, obviously not wanting to say anything, but hearing the blasphemy that was coming out of his mouth, the other chick I worked with called him aside quietly, and I heard her tell him he’s asking for trouble if he wants to enter a marriage with that mindset. I mumbled that he’d be lucky if a chick MARRIED him with that mindset.

Frankly, I think too many guys are brought up with this ridiculous idea of exaggerated superiority. Ok, sure he’s the ‘man of the house’, WHATEVER. But if you think that just because you happen to have been born A GUY, then the world should be laid at your feet, let ME tell YOU to wake up from your deep SLUMBER. I honestly believe no guy has the right to tell ME not to work, so his ego won’t be deflated either by a) me making more money; or b) you having to make a meal or two for yourself.

If you want someone that will do nothing but cook, clean and stay home all day as a human baby-vending machine… well… GET A MAID.

We’ve all come too far in this world to still be weighing ourselves down with these silly and ridiculous rules. Marriage should be a partnership, nothing else. ‘My wife cannot do this or that’ has to stop. Let’s get married for all the right reasons, abeg. Any one can cook and clean, man. Your wife should be your friend; you should have considerations for her aspirations. No-one is saying she won’t be a home-maker, but that is not what she was BORN to do.

You guys really need to get over yourselves. Seriously.

12 thoughts on “Oh, You’re One of THOSE Guys.

  1. Great topic!!! I must say that i have grown rather tired of arguing with men (in paticular Naija men) about the role of women. Its clear that men, have an innate socialized superiority which emanates every now and then.. I just choose to interact with those, who have risen above that.

  2. Well said, but i don’t think that any man who already thinks like that would ever change regardless of what anyone says. The best thing is to look for someone who shares similar views on the issue.

    Not too long ago one of my close friends was “joking” about how he wanted to marry me, so i asked him if he could cook. He burst out laughing like i said the funniest joke in the world. I wasn’t joking oh, cos i really don’t think i am going to marry a man who doesn’t know how to cook. That would mean that i would be depended on for all the meals cooked in the house. Hell no!

  3. You said it, sister. Someone somewhere has made guys believe that their hands cease to function after their wedding. But you’re right, there’s no point arguing, is there? It’s just a bit of a waste, a perfectly good guy, useless’d (no better word for that) by his own backward thinking!

  4. U are a feminist, aggressive, anti-submissive, and cute 🙂

    Truth is only ‘some’ men have the ill-cultured mind set like your colleague. I ‘ve sure got married friends who are very homely and open minded.

    I for one go shopping with my Girl, do dishes together and definitely wuldn’t give up the Kitchen to my wife easily.

    So all you women in the house, quit bashing us over the issues of the few cavemen, that you so have the strangest luck (like Onyeka’s) to run into.


  5. Ok, now to brass tacks, it’s just about different strokes for diff. peeps. Apparently he was brought up to view the world like that, as a HE-MAN world..product of nature and nuture, if you ask me!

    I for one cannot marry a dull a$$ as a wife, lol!

  6. There are girls who don’t mind guys like him. I used to have a room mate who used to claim that he flogged his girlfriend with a belt. I wondered what she was thinking to remain in the relationship. Women are home-makers like you said but the implications of that role should be arrived at by mutual agreement not imposition.

  7. @ ugo

    it dont matter what YOU think!!!! R U CUTE!?!?

    and anyway, u guys should take t easy. I understand that many guys don’t think that way, but the few that do BUG me!!!

    the girlfriend-flogger? that is VERY disturbing. I think some women generally don’t think that they deserve MORE from life.

    @ femi
    huray for guys like you! ur fewer than u think!

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