I wasn’t going to share too much about this. But I think I need the objective opinion of an un-biased third party.
In my last post I mentioned I’d found a place. And I really have. It’s not too far from where I currently stay during the week. In fact, it’s even closer to where I get my staff bus, but from another side. The friend that helped me find it, a classmate from school was able to get it at an amazingly affordable price, and we’re supposed to be roomies.
Honestly, I didn’t plan to move till next year Jan (my 21st) or so. But I guess I could hold it till then. So, last night I launched the idea to my mother. I’ve done something similar recently, when Kitty was getting a place, and she was all up for it then, so I didn’t expect the reply she gave me.
“Your father won’t have it”
I won’t say all she said, but she gave reasons and excuses ranging from the timing to me following peer pressure (??!) to safety to the classic: it’s not right for a chick to stay alone when she’s not abroad or married.
My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe it. Times are changing, by God, and I won’t be held hostage by an old way of thinking. Besides, I won’t be ALONE, I’ll be living with someone. I was too shocked by her reaction to put up a more intelligent argument. She said I should wait. I said I was planning to wait till next year, and she said it was STILL too soon. That I was thinking like a guy.
Come next year, I’ll probably hear the some story. And by then, I won’t have this opportunity. It’s ridiculous. There’s no harm in it. And I don’t think anyone I know sees it either. I live at Agbara, for goodness sake, and it’s FAR. Where I stay during the week, Anthony, is way too small to make sense. Besides, this way, I’m out of everyone’s hair (and vise versa), and there’s more room for my sis. I don’t really eat at Anthony cos I leave by 5.45 every morning and get back past 9. So basically all I do is sleep and bathe. Nothing to miss there.
I’m going to pay for it, anyway. So what’s the problem?
Oh, what will people think? Or, what, no-one will be able to ‘monitor’ me anymore??? I want my shot at independence, and this concept of going from the clutches of my father’s house to my marital home has never fared well with me.
I’m upset. I really wanted to be able to move out with as little bad blood as possible, but it’s looking like a pipe-dream. My sister said I should do it, the few friends I told said I should do it… I’ve prayed on it. What should I do? This won’t be waiting for me forever. I need to make a decision now. Put my foot down and alienate myself from my parents… or stay where I am and revel in trapped misery?