Self-Expression at Work!

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to the management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative ‘TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of idea nad information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f__k you’re doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a f__king b__ch.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f__k do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f__king way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh_ting me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f__king problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f__k?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This s**t won’t work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f__k didn’t you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__k it, I’m on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: Idon’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__!

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f__king job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f__k died and made you the boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

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12 thoughts on “Self-Expression at Work!

  1. Nothing like a good swear word to relieve stress but that may probably get you fired so I will try using this instead.

  2. how the hell can we survive without swearing?….oops thats supposed to be ‘how can is it possible that we as humans can survive without swearing?

  3. LOL,hey for all of you who are horrified by the concept of nto swearing, that’s why they said… ‘try this’. Oh if only some of the people around here would understand what i mean, when i ‘try it’.

  4. hi onydchic

    i have emailed you at your yahoo! hope that is ok. currently considering a job in nigeria, and if i should take it!

    it a tough choice! any way you can persuade me either way?

    that would be good from someone who is a similar age to me!

    take care

    abs

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