All Ye Males – What R U Good For? REALLY?

This might seem to be an odd post from me, considering as I’m newly attached and loving it. But lately though, due to excessive thinking and brooding over certain issues, as well as reading a few things here and there, I have to ask:

What’s the point of guys? Really?

Disclaimer: Now, before you think I’m going on some man-hating, feminist rant, let me get one thing straight. I don’t hate guys; most of my greatest friends are guys. In terms of attitudes they’re more laid back than chicks, and make better friends (when they aren’t trying to get you in the sack).They make good playthings too. But when it all comes down to it, I don’t see their point. Also, everything I write here is based on my theories and observations and no-one else’s, so none of that ‘prove it’ stuff. I’m on a roll here, bear with me.

As Bus asked the other day, beyond the whole ‘populating the earth’ thing, what function do they serve? Most guys – despite the whole ‘macho’, opening the tight jar of whatever, and the biceps – are really just big babies with raging hormones. No offense. Look at it. Practically every guy grows in life craving two things:

Sex and food. And sports to kill the time between getting the sex and eating the food.

I dare any guy to deny it. And don’t even mention money. Money is a means to an end. More money buys more food, gets more girls, buys bigger tvs to watch sports and soothes their fragile egos. Because men like to brag. I can’t describe my irritation for a guy who comes up to me and expects me to care that they just bought a new jeep.

Men, on the other hand, especially Nigerian men, tend to act like they’re well and totally useless without a chick. Oh, can’t wait to marry so I’ll have dinner… oh, can’t wait to get a girl that will help me tidy this place… Oh can’t wait for a girl to this and that…

What? For all the stronger sex crap we have to put up with, you can’t get off your lazy butt and make dinner? Are your hands psychologically tuned to NOT know how to work a spoon unless it’s carrying something TOWARDS your mouth? Is there some magical, complex equation involved in boiling… say, rice? Is there some superstition I don’t know about where you innards shrivel up and die if you make an effort to tidy your room?

I’m quite sure there isn’t. But let me not generalize. I’ll instead blame our society and the upbringing that lets males believe they never really have to make an effort to do anything when there’s a female present.

Yes. I’m going to be a shock to my eventual husband.

But anyway, I digress. Males also tend to act like they’ll suddenly start sprouting sores and lesions if they go say, a week without getting laid. Maybe it’s a young-ish guy thing. Maybe not. Let’s face it. It’s scientifically proven. NOTHING will happen if you don’t have sex for even a YEAR. So let’s stop all this junkie-like obsession, shall we?

Moving on though. What do we as females, need them for? REALLY? Beyond the whole procreation thing? Not much really. I mean, for the really shallow/dependent/old-fashioned types, there’s that whole ‘security’ hoopla: “Oh, a guy would provide me with financial/emotional/physical security”.

Not these days, princess. These days when women work and make great pay, it irks me to hear SUCH women making such comments. Or even the WINNER: I can’t buy *insert pricey but long-wanted item here* with my own money, I’ll tell my boyfriend to buy it for me.


If there were no men, we’d technically have fewer armed robbers, rapists and murderers (see where I’m going here?). So TECHNICALLY, the whole physical security thing would be immaterial. Besides, as they’re here now, I’m not strolling out on the streets at 10pm. And don’t even get me started on the emotional security thing. Can someone say ‘No more drama’?

So…What do we need them for??? What??? Assuming, there were no guys, and there was some Last Man on Planet Earth stuff going on… I think we’d do just nicely. No football, no ‘ball’ anything, no mindless love triangles, no emotional heartbreak… Please, feel free to prove me wrong.

*Taking deep breath* We don’t need them as much we’re being made to believe we do. Which brings to me the topic of the next post and 2nd part of the 3-part study on ye males: Why Do We Give Guys More to feel Important About?

P.S. Guys, you know it’s all love.

31 thoughts on “All Ye Males – What R U Good For? REALLY?

  1. chic.. i dont think guys are all about sex if not they might aswell pay hookers yeah
    but d food bit is so true tho…
    the sad little buggers

  2. I disagree. Remember, I said they have EGOS. Large scary EGOS. And as much as they could just use prostitutes, it would make them look desperate and unable to get ‘quality’. Besides, don’t a good of them ALREADY pay hookers?!? Aristos that splurge loads of cash on young chicks that they mainly sleep with, isn’t that a mild form of prostitution?

  3. essa coisa de merda, internet connection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…*after calming down*…i just posted and it has erased it…i’ll try and remember what the hell i typed…

    …i think you are taking the case of some bobo type useless good for nothing men and applying their characteristics to all men…in short generalising…and we all know the trouble that comes from that…furthermore, many women could be easily characterised in the same manner…you could substitute out clothes/shoes/jewelry/hair for sports and maybe sex, for those anomalies of women who don’t like sex;)…

    …and then you could get into a whole philosophical debate about true purpose in life/on earth…what is the purpose and then we can determine who is dispensable and who isn’t…a better balance and appreciation of feminine and masculine energy in general would make it more apparent the purpose…or not…who knows…

    …this post slighty bothers me only because i start thinking about our true purpose and animals and wonder again how we really are different than animals and if our role is really just to procreate…(if it is, tell me now so i can get rid of the morals and on with the procreating or at least the act that leads to procreation!!!..)…or if some people have stopped ‘evolving’ and what do we do with them?…i’ll be back once i get rid of this headache;)…

  4. Loved this post. I think its a culture thing cos caucasian guys dont play the ‘helpless’ card for us the way our men do. LOL!!

    Hiya Onydchic – Happy New Year!!

  5. @ gueirrera

    ur probably right. I’m probably generalising. But i’ve met too many guys like that to thnk otherwise.It’s proved to me daily. But dont think too hard about it, it’s just a playful question i tend to ask guys evry so often. And they tend not to have a good answer!

    @ calabar gal

    yeah, it’s something i noticed too, which is why I was sure to specify on Nigerian guys. Even the most open-minded ones cant help channeling their inner child.

  6. @ princesa
    yes… yes they are.

    @ ms emottions

    dont worry, many people usually dont know what to say when i start off either. thanx for dropping by!

    @ undacovasista

    and THAT is the N10,000 question!

  7. Hmmm, had a conversation with my guy friend last nit that had us both laughing hysterically…

    he has a friend staying with him who assumes women have a certain role…cooking..he tried it twice with me and I put him in his place..anyway the guy recently got a job and wakes up at 5am to cook for work

    He is gettin married in march and I told my friend I pitied him if he thinks the chick will wake up at 5am every weekday to cook for him…he asked why? afterall she does it now when she comes into town…and I replied..yes she does cos its a means to an end…or did you think cooking and cleaning is her hubby?

    That has got to be the singular longest comment i have ever typed…EVER!!!

  8. Preach!!! You couldn’t have said it any better.

    LOL @ Yes. I’m going to be a shock to my eventual husband. You r a character.

    I think the fact that guys don’t want to do anything for themselves is really about their upbringing. I had the 22yr old half nigerian dude go to nigeria for the first time last dec. and one of the things he told me he liked was how when they finished eating at his granma’s house, they didn’t have to clear the dishes. They just sat there and someone else did it for them. He had never experienced that b4. So i think African men are spoiled that way.

    Guys…….. can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

  9. It is unreasonable to assume that the contemporary African poet or writer should confine himself to write about the beauty of the endless African plains, the wealth of culture, without remembering and recording his awesome fears of the genocide, religions upheaval and ethic clashed suddenly resurfacing as always around him,
    I write of love, of deep erotica poetry when the need arises, but I cannot do that in all my writings without expressing haunting fears for my beloved wife, brothers, village kids, all I have come to love in an insecure land constantly threatened by the evils of illiteracy, hunger and strife, fiend and war.

  10. Those young chicks really don’t mind it. And if you think about it that way, either species doesn’t serve much purpose besides reproduction.

    P.S. You’re gorgeous! )Just had to say that).

  11. confessions, just wanted to let you know i just bought a jeep…

    now that is settled, i think you’re generally right about men; my tv’s big, i love sport and i feel ill if i dont get ‘laid’, and no, it’s not a young-guy thing, cos i’m not a young guy, however, i’m not into food.

    can i disagree here? there are, i think, many more female armed robbers, rapists and murderers out there, only they are more sophisticated and considerably more surreptitious about it than men.

  12. @afrobabe
    that’s it right there. If the guys want a live in maid, well, darn it, they should get one!!! It’s even worse for a boyfriend…I’m sorry, i don’t see why i should come visit you, and be doing housework..>?!?!

    @ bubbles

    thank you for proving my theory!! All these african men, sef!

    @ eji

    back off the countdown ok??? I’m on a roll here! And i noticed you had nothing to say about the post!

    @ leon
    by young chicks, u mean who??? Cos I dont know any ‘young chicks’ that dont mind it. FYI,i’m quite young myself!!! and thanks!

    @ jinta

    you know, your last paragraph proved another point. Even at doing evil, guys cant do it right!!! 🙂
    thanks all for dropping by!

  13. very interesting i must say. men wud be men but there are good ones out there. i hate been put in a stero type so i try not to with the opposite sex. its sad there is more truth than generalizing thou. the truth is we need them as much as they need us. !!!

  14. Well to be honest – i have nothing to say about the necessary complicaiton called men, I said i wouldn’t have any dramma in my life in sept and its been going well so far and i intend to have it that way at least for the rest of this year. But i must say, this thing has received a LOT of comments. U go gul

  15. @ ugo daniels

    🙂 What???? Got something on ur mind?


    i think everyone kinda missed the point with my post. i didn’t say guys were BAD, i was just wondering … what do WE need them for?

    @ last king of scotland

    thank you!


    this isn’t drama, it is a thought provoking question on the male species… 🙂

  16. Men, LOVE sex. I agree. But that’s not just a MANly thing.
    Its been clinically proven that women have a bigger appetite
    for SEX than men. So…don’t even go the *men are sexual
    parasites way* at all. We are all predatory sexual animals.
    And dont get me started on how selfish women can be in/during/after sex.

    You mentioned the issue of rape. I know (for certain) that there are more instances
    of sexual harassment between women (y’all just ignore it), a
    fast rising wave of female on female rape, and lets not ignore the fact that about
    79% (if not more…) of females are latent lesbians…introduce the fire and
    you’ll hear crackles.

    Someone said EGOs, I think I might have to agree with that. If anything at all…we are the weaker
    sex. You cry…we go soft. You burn the food, we have to stomach it (or God help us).
    I mean half the time, we can’t even get it up without your cue…we just wanna watch TV, argue about which team is best and play our Playstations.
    But no, you go on cooing in our ears and the blood comes rushing through our veins like
    obedient servants.

    Eureka, I think your blog has just opened up a conspiracy of the highest order.
    Its back to the matrix again, we have to start a revolution to be free from these
    feline slave masters* (mistresses?). Menfolk, we need a revolution !!!

  17. Aaaaah, you asked forit, so here comes:

    Now, in as much as i’m trying so hard not to be subjective in my comments, i’ll like to state categorically that yuor post reeks of FEMINISM to high heavens:

    Your claims of your post not being biased or stereotypical is totally contrary to your views on the subject matter. Moreover, you also expressed you were talking from experience.

    Now, lemme ask, does a few sprinkle of water on the floor totally get the whole house wet? Does a few bad names damamging Nigerians image abroad make you and I 419 suspects? Does a bad relationship you’ve been in or just got out from make all men LIARS, IRRESPONSIBLE, ARROGANT and TOTALLY IRRELEVANT…You dont have to answer those!!!

    Remember your question: Whats da point of uys, really and you quickly added some answers, they’re ONLY needed for:

    -SPORTS (or more generally TV!)

    Mind you, i’m not advocating or spearheading a march that men are much better or have better roles to play in watever form than women. Far from it..they normally works together, hand in hand. Anyone living in the 21st century shuld know that as a basic science 🙂

    Unless you’re one kinda SUPERWOMAN, determined to have it all and do it better than your mom or grandmother (pun intended) and tend to define your life in terms of their man’s success or positive strides!

    Breaking news: many encountered a glass ceiling and learnt that they could never have it all, that they would have to accept men’s values and definitions of success because women could never have it all because men DID NOT and WOULD NOT EVER have it all either!

    See, life is basically a series of changes, changes in relationships and others stuffs. Granted, the issue of feminism has risen in it’s ranks and files in recent years and no one can dispute that.

    The sooner everone understands that God is not a FOOL by saying both need each other, the better i think we can all survive in this world.

    BTW: recently i’ve also been thinking, why do i really NEED a girl in my life (excluding for procreation). I’m still tryn to find an answer to that!!

    Peace and stay safe. Cheers!!

    PS: this is just a prelude. I’ll be back respond to the points you raised that seem to buttress your point of MAN’S USELESSNESS!!

  18. You know surprisingly enough, i’m yet to come across many guys that depend on their ladies to always do home stuffs for them, including sex and food and all the others…which leaves me wondering whether it has to do with some sector of area your operating from.

    Dont think i’m taking this personal. I’ve got 5 lovely sisters and they’re all married, some with kids, others newly. I’m yet to see or notice any of the points you’ve raised here reflect on them, even during courtship and after marriage.

    If you were talking from a research-based perspective that has been scientifically and statistically vetted and endorsed, i may try to see reason with you. Basing your assumptions just on personal experience and friends bites is unfair to men and equally to women out there that’ve got doting, caring and totally responsive men in their lifes.

    Moreover, had it been you segmented your post into different classes or calibres of men, i can equally understand. Tenway a tout, bus conductor, road side mechanic, etc treats their wifes or partners are a far cry from the way educated and upper class men does theirs. But, no, you have to cast a wide net in your assumptions or shuld i call it allegations 🙂

    Now, let’s take a looka t your points and dissect them one after another:

    Granted, some men behave like dogs on heat if they’ve not had sex for quite sometime. The issue i dont agree with here is that it bothers only the guys alone. Both parties are guilty of this. Are you telling me, you’ve never seen ‘female gladiators’ (females with large sexual appetite)!! There’re lots of ’em out there! I’m not talking about teenagers here. I’m talking about adults, responsible ones. You’ll be surprised to know that sex is ususally the uttermost thing on their mind when they’re out there working their butts off making the much-needed money that the family needs to survive or the relationship needs to grow…warreva!

    Oh please my dear, i can’t help but laugh when you said if there were fewer men, armed robbery will be less. Can you prove this…ofcourse NO! It’s also disheartening that you fail to point out the issues, several of them that makes some men take to the streets robbing, raping or murdering people. Unfortunately the society that breeds or nurtures them have treated them so unfairly that they feel the only way they can survive is thru such. Ofcourse, that doesnt make it a good thing. The end of a bad thing turn good can never justify the means getting it.

    It’ll also surprise you to know that 90% of these armed robbers engage in such nefarious activities in order to impress their gf’s, wives, concubines or families as the case might be. A very sharp person can tell you they’re playing a SIGNIFICANT role to whoever is getting the loot of their clandestine activities, thus totally rendering your argument invalid, fallacious, illogical and untenable!

    NOTE: I’m NOT advocating for the robbers et al.

    Lastly, assuming their were no males in the world like you mentioned, there won’t be a balance to the system. I totally fail to see the main crux of your arguments. Is it only men that play soccer? females also do and most are getting more engaged these days with diferent clubsides and the likes! No mindless lovetriangles and emotional heartbreak? Whatever happened to lesbias or same sex relationship. I was made to understand that there own emotions runs deeper than heterosexuals, thus they can kill or go to extreme lenghts to get back what ‘rightfully’ belongs to them…things like that!

    Nobody’s saying you need males more than you need yourself. male and female relationship was created in such a way that they need each other (not in alll cases though) to make it positively, relatively speaking!

    PS: You know it’s all about love!

  19. @ ugo daniels…

    …DUDE. Wow. Dude.
    That was a post all by itself! Well, you made your position really clear there!

    It’s early in the morning, i’m sleepy, but ill try and reply ur MANY pointts.
    First, what I’m talking about has NOTHING to do with any relationships I’ve been in. I didn’t have to be in a relationship to see what I saw, which just goes to show.
    2, the points about food and sex, is what I noticed MEN really always wanted, not what WE needed them for, God knows.

    3, let’s be honest. Glass ceilings refer to discrimination against hardly encounter those ‘glass ceilings’ and the reason women realised it will always be there is cos there are men dont want them to get past it!Can someone say egos? Men cant have it all… but God knows they have a better opportunity than us!

    4. Not faulting God’s creations either,i just think men have become victims of their own hype and over-exaggerated the ‘superiority’ thing.

    5. You’re right. I’m a feminist. 🙂

    6. Different strokes. I didn’t say all men demanded such from their women. But pretty much 90% of the ones i’ve met and heard of EXPECT to be baby-sat once they have a girlfriend, abi i lie?

    7.And yeah, i’m going to stereotype here. Even GUYS have agreed to the sex thing. And, while I understand you’re trying to make a point, you can’t deny history. Great men have fallen (and still have) all because of some ‘booty’. Women? Not so much! Im not saying they dont want it, but fewer have done dumb things just cos of it! It’s your weakness. Accept it. Embrace it. 🙂

    8. This post was not disputing the ‘good guys’ out there. Im simply just asking… WHAT IS THEIR POINT? If it came down to an evolutionary/science issue, what would you say we need men for?

    9. Oh and the robbers/criminals doing things cos of chicks? (*makes whipping noise*)They’re on their own.Cant speak for emotional lesbians either…I agree with the whole societal thing but then that’s why i said TECHNICALLY there’d be fewer robbers – considering as their mostly males. Cant argue against statistics.

    10.Ugo, my dear, while ur arguments are valid, true and very heartfelt, you have NOT answered the question that presses: WHAT DO WE REALLY NEED YOU FOR????


  20. @plastiq
    1.really? actually I want you to get started. Tell me, how selfish are we as opposed to guys? Let me tell you something that’s also PROVEN. Pretty much every guy enjoys sex. A good pecentage of women dont for many other reasons

    2.latent lesbians??? WHAT????

    3.”we just wanna watch TV, argue about which team is best and play our Playstations” Ah yes, really useful you guys are. So ur saying, without a woman around, youll even be more useless than u already are???

    4. Ur out of mind! 😀 you havent helped ur case at all!!!

  21. I use to think that of men, but then I realised the error in judgment. I think the appropriate word here is BOYS!

    I swear, if you dated a man (male, but not a boy anymore), your whole prospective on ‘what are they good for?’ will change.

  22. @enigma,
    hmmm…. ur right. Give me 3 more months, and Ill let you know how that goes!

    thanks. Its a shame noone has been able to answer it though!

  23. “Practically every guy grows in life craving two things: Sex and food. And sports to kill the time between getting the sex and eating the food.”

    ..and what is wrong with that?

    A world without men exists in many places. women’s prisons, all girl boarding schools. Both known to be paradise on earth to all who have ventured.

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