All Ye Females : Why Do We Give Them More to feel Important About?

I admit, I was expecting the guys to have more to say in their defence. To be able to argue for their existence. Ah well. Guess not. I see I’ve been accused of generalizing, but no one could ever NOT say that what I was saying didn’t apply. I’m not stereotyping, I’m talking from experience. Even the nicest guys have that weakness. I’m not saying they’re bad people. They’re just… not totally useful. 🙂

Anyway, returning from partially good weekend, 4 more days of work to endure… I bring to the world my next provocative question:

What’s that about? Why do people tend to act like a guy is the only tangible accomplishment we can ever make? And why do we encourage it?

Disclaimer: Now, before you think I’m going on some man-hating, feminist rant, let me get one thing straight. I don’t hate guys; most of my greatest friends are guys. In terms of attitudes they’re more laidback than chicks, and make better friends (when they aren’t trying to get you in the sack).They make good playthings too. But when it all comes down to it, I don’t see their point. Also, everything I write here is based on my theories and observations and no-one else’s, so none of that ‘prove it’ stuff.

And don’t act like you don’t. God knows, on a daily basis, we’re constantly being nagged and reminded of how we belong in a kitchen, warming some guy’s bed, or becoming a baby-vending machine is the main point of our existence and if you’re single, whether you’re 18 or 28, you tend to get looks like you said you’re … a 50 yr old spinster with only cats for company.

If I had 50 bucks for each time since I graduated that I’ve been asked when I’m getting married, I’d have enough to go for master’s (ok, maybe not, maybe I’ll just be able to buy a new laptop) which oddly enough, no-one outside my age group hasn’t asked about.

I read through a couple of blogs today and some of them spoke my mind. One time in school, a classmate made a sort-of derogatory comment to me because I didn’t have a boyfriend, ‘Don’t mind her, she’s just being that way because she didn’t answer all the guys when they were coming up to her, and now it’s too late.’
Shio. By too late, she was referring to the fact that I was 19, in 400 level and as far as she was concerned, an old maid. All this cos I didn’t read someone’s valentine message in a ‘romantic’ manner. Okkaayyyy…

All the harassment however, just made me more determined not to care. Because quite frankly, I’ve seen one too many chicks lose their minds over their lack of a guy. Here are a few typical complaints:

1. Oh, how I wish I had a guy to buy me…
2. Oh, woes me, I need a guy to be driving me to..
3. Oh, why don’t I have a guy to take me out?
4. Oh, I wish a guy to snog…
5. Oh, my life is a shamble, I wish I had a guy to Val me…
6. I need money. I need a guy in my life.

WHAT?! I hardly hear a sensible whine, like, needing a guy for companionship purposes… I could even FORGIVE the snog part. But waiting for the dark knight that’ll come along in his shiny new BMW with a fat wallet and a thick head is ATROCIOUS. Why can’t you go out on your own? Why can’t you go out, and make your own money? Woman, WhY OH WHY do you need to have a Val’s gift???

Guys, unfortunately, know this. They know that 8 out of 10 girls are so obsessed with what a guy can do for them that they begin to feel important. They know that come a few years, no-one’s gonna tell them they’re getting too old to marry. Which once again, brings me to the whole guy coming up and thinking they can impress you with their accomplishments. A guy I thought was kinda cute (I think I was sleepy at the time) on camp, got to talking with me, and then he felt it necessary to tell me about his ‘business’ and how he would have made his first million in a couple of weeks. I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes.The arrogance of it all. Another annoying one is where a guy I was actually kinda close to was throwing himself at me and acting like he was doing me a favour because I didn’t have a guy in my life. The nerve. I forgave him for his momentary foolishness.

Anyway, that said. I’m not generalizing. But there are just men out there who know all they need to do is flash and there’ll be those chicks that’ll kill themselves with greed. Let’s stop making these boys feel important, shall we? I know working-class ladies that will rather squander their salaries on expensive clothes and make-up, and wait for a guy to buy the important stuff. Stop being so shallow. Let’s try to be independent for a bit… just a bit. Try.

13 thoughts on “All Ye Females : Why Do We Give Them More to feel Important About?

  1. considering the same could be said in reverse….from the guys to the ladies….at least to beat down the general view that a guy that doesnt have a girl..hasnt arrived.

    all ye females: why do we give them more to feel too much about

  2. THANK YOU! now this is what i was waiting for. Its kindda like training a puppy. So what if the ratio of guys to guls will be 4 to 1 in the next 30 years. More reason why we need them to behave instead of fueling their god complex. (oh and i can imagine u reading that val letter – lemmie guess in the most monotonous voice u could muster and with that demeaning ‘hey ya, this poor fool doesn’t know what he’s in for’ tone in your voice. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, Now that is one of the few things i miss from sec school)

  3. Eji… such … passion.
    but u know, ur right. I WAS reading it in a monotonous voice. U should have seen it, very GAG worthy. I couldn’t pretend to be impressed, could i?!

  4. By the way, how have u been – haven’t spoken in a really long while (u’re the one with the cool payin job so u should be doing the calling u know – i’m still a student).

  5. First of all, I love the way you write.
    Secondly, I don’t think this is something that will change. We were brought up this way. Girls in the kitchen and boys playing football..mum or mother figures telling girls at a tender age how they must get married early..boys being told by their mothers (no matter how wowo) that they were too much, hence the oversized ego..
    It’s already unconsciously engraved in our psyche-boys have a role to act out (as in a movie) so do we girls.
    I don’t support it, but maybe this is the reason guys feel they are God’s gift to us women and we act as if they are absolutely right!
    So there…

  6. @ eji

    yeah, i probably over-procrastinated on the calling thing… will do, expect me

    @naija chickito

    thanks very much! been doing it for years!
    I suppose you’re right, and you’re points are quite true. But it’s fun to complain sometimes, not so?

  7. I totally agree with u. I don’t see y pple have to wait or wish for guys to do stuff for them or get them stuff. Sometimes they can even afford whatever stuff their heart desires, but they would prefer if a guy gets it for them.

    I still think it has to do with upbringing and environment. My father was never around while i was growing up cos he was based in the states, as a result i was raised primarily by my mother who is a very strong independent woman. I guess becos i never saw her wait around for my father or a man to do something for her, i grew up with the sense that i have to make my own money and be my own person.

    I cannot live my life waiting on some guy. That’s ludicrous.

    As for not being complete with a man, Puh lease!

  8. Funnily enuff, we agree on the issue of girls/women/ladies looking after themselves in such a way that will not compromise their relationshipos or marriages. Cases abound of girls jumping from one bed to another in order to get money to buy this or that, even some working class, elite women do that.

    It would have been better if you rephrased your post title more positively like: Women: you have what it takes to make it! Some towards that line will be more understandable. Dragging guys into the quagmire is quite unfortunate.

    Abi, if they put sugar in ya mouth, you’ll spit it out. HELL NO!!

  9. That’s what I’m talking about… GIRL POWER!

    I still stand by the point that, at this very point in my life, there is absolutely nothing a man can do for me that I can’t do for myself (myself, in this context, includes handy vib batteries if push ever came to shove).

    I believe there are dollar ho’s in every corner of the world, and my country is no exception. Sad.

    Now, lemme read the all ye male post.

  10. @ugo daniels…

    i don’t know why i dragged guys into it. Maybe it’s cos nmany really have begun to feel that they’re THAT important. And that we’re all that easy.

    @ enigma


  11. your article is so true. its amzing how pathetic it really is in it? God help us gals to catch dis ur revelation fire!!!

  12. nice…although am guilty of lamenting about not having a man around. not necessarily to buy me stuff but it was part of it though(lol)..eida way nice work chic

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