Well… After almost a week of sort-of combating Malaria/Typhoid (again), I’m BACK! Unfortunately, every single thing I had been hoping to write about last week has gone to the dogs. Can’t remember. Ah well. Just as well.
It’s Valentine’s Day! You know I had to have a li’l ole rant about this.
Yeah, I thought I would be ultra unique and write about something totally unrelated, like global warming or the absolutely INSANE heat that has suddenly taken Lagos by storm (now THAT’s something we need). But no… I’m gonna write something about Val’s. Why? Well, I guess it’s the obligation of my relationship status.
Listening to St Elsewhere – Gnarls Barkley…
Last year, I wrote a heated rant about the absolute pointlessness of Valentine’s Day. My opinion hasn’t changed much. It’s really just this over-blown, sensationalized, money-making remix of what was actually a kinda cute concept. I had the misfortune of spending my convalescence stuck in Anthony Village, where there was no cable. So… I had to make do with the Silverbirds and G65s of the TV world. Every other minute, it was some silly Valentine’s bash/parade/pageant/dinner/discount/sale/concert or the other. There was PINK and RED everywhere. At Silverbird Galleria, Darkman and I decided to venture to some horrific Valentine’s stand and couldn’t understand what all the MUSH was for.
Yes, I SAID it! It’s all mush! Shoot me! What’s with all the cards DRIPPING with sentiment? Do you know hard it is to locate a nice Valentine’s card for a relationship that isn’t quite 3 full months and quite frankly, not declaring that you love the person with every flaming ember of your soul and will do so forever?
I’d never been Val’d (is that even a word?!). At least, not till this year anyway. The great thing about getting a (very) slow start to such a thing in your life is the absolute joy of making observations of others’ plights. In secondary school, things went from ‘OMG! Soso got a Val’s gift! That’s soooo cool!’ in our junior classes to ‘OMG! I can’t believe you didn’t get anything!’ in our senior years.
Ah yes, the joyful shallowness of secondary school relationships. It’s like everyone just started pairing up at a point, just to beat the graduation window. Anyway, I recall, was it SS2 or SS3, when all the girls that got gifts, were apparently so insanely tickled by their good fortune that they thought it would be (*starts silly white girl voice*), like, totally cool to like, put all the gifts together and like soo take pictures, just cos, you know, they could?
My eyes practically rolled to the back of my head when I saw it. Teddy bears and plastic roses and other red paraphernalia lined up in a creative arc on a bed, then the money shot: Each chick with her own stuff. God. Most of those relationships didn’t even make it past grad.
In university, things got more interesting. More cash to burn, bigger chicks to impress. I had a friend that almost lost her mind every Val’s searching for the perfect gift. On that day, people used to piss me off with this line, ‘Happy Vals!’. I usually replied that with the scowl or forced smile of my choice. Happy Vals? What, is it a public holiday? If it’s so big and pivotal, no one should go to work. Then, and only then, will I indulge in that silly greeting.
What irritated me was the look many girls got or gave at the prospect of not receiving a gift: ‘Aw, eeya, don’t worry, next year it will be your turn’ or ‘I wish I was getting a gift’… The look of complete, unadulterated ENVY dropping from their faces like sweat, when some girl entered the hall with some huge bag or whatever. If it was some ‘big boy’ from outside, even better. He’d park in whatever ostentatious car he could bring, right in front of the hall, and all of them would press their faces against the window, waiting, watching. One really funny year, a girl got a new car. Oh, God. Didn’t hear the end of that one. Kitty and I had a laugh there. We were like, ‘well, with those keys, she has given out her right to refuse him pretty much anything. Including a marriage proposal’.
WTF? I totally don’t blame many guys that aim for singledom every February. It’s too much pressure. We girls are horribly materialistic creatures, and we EXPECT something. I’m sure they wake up every 14th, cursing St Valentine, wondering whose bright idea it was.
I don’t think it was a completely stupid idea, Vals, it is a ‘celebration of love’ after all. For those that are genuinely citizens of the land of mush and luurve, today’s like their Independence Day/Christmas. Currently I’m facing the pressure. I don’t like thinking too hard about such things, but here I am. I’d rather do something interesting than get a gift. I told Viva. I’ve reached that point in my life where very few material things could blow me out of the water. At 21, I don’t know if that’s good or sad. But I won’t say no to a new car. Frankly, I think a gift’s an easy way out (yes, I’m THAT hard to please). Gifts are for birthdays. Anyone could pop into a store and get a teddy bear (of which, don’t do it, just don’t, totally pointless things). But it takes thought and effort to plan a nice day/night out … or in.
Not so? That said, I strolled into the office this morning for t, my eyes assaulted by chicks in red, and guys in red ties (*shudders*), and my ears already harassed with about four ‘Happy Valentines!’. I think, so far, I have hidden my repulsion well. Yeah, I know, I’m a killjoy. You can refer to me as the scrooge that stole Valentine’s. Vals is all good, but I don’t see the BIG deal in it. I’ve told Darkman more than once that my life would go on if we don’t see today, he probably thinks I’m off my rocker. But… it’s your first Vals, he goes. And I’m like, yeah… I guess… whatever… you know. Let’s not lose our heads.
All you lovers out there have fun though. And all you single boys and gals… it’s all good. 🙂
(*ha! betcha thought I would wish u a happy one, huh? *)