It’s Vals – And Yes, I Still Don’t Care!

Well… After almost a week of sort-of combating Malaria/Typhoid (again), I’m BACK! Unfortunately, every single thing I had been hoping to write about last week has gone to the dogs. Can’t remember. Ah well. Just as well.

It’s Valentine’s Day! You know I had to have a li’l ole rant about this.

Yeah, I thought I would be ultra unique and write about something totally unrelated, like global warming or the absolutely INSANE heat that has suddenly taken Lagos by storm (now THAT’s something we need). But no… I’m gonna write something about Val’s. Why? Well, I guess it’s the obligation of my relationship status.

Listening to St Elsewhere – Gnarls Barkley…

Last year, I wrote a heated rant about the absolute pointlessness of Valentine’s Day. My opinion hasn’t changed much. It’s really just this over-blown, sensationalized, money-making remix of what was actually a kinda cute concept. I had the misfortune of spending my convalescence stuck in Anthony Village, where there was no cable. So… I had to make do with the Silverbirds and G65s of the TV world. Every other minute, it was some silly Valentine’s bash/parade/pageant/dinner/discount/sale/concert or the other. There was PINK and RED everywhere. At Silverbird Galleria, Darkman and I decided to venture to some horrific Valentine’s stand and couldn’t understand what all the MUSH was for.

Yes, I SAID it! It’s all mush! Shoot me! What’s with all the cards DRIPPING with sentiment? Do you know hard it is to locate a nice Valentine’s card for a relationship that isn’t quite 3 full months and quite frankly, not declaring that you love the person with every flaming ember of your soul and will do so forever?

Slow down…!

I’d never been Val’d (is that even a word?!). At least, not till this year anyway. The great thing about getting a (very) slow start to such a thing in your life is the absolute joy of making observations of others’ plights. In secondary school, things went from ‘OMG! Soso got a Val’s gift! That’s soooo cool!’ in our junior classes to ‘OMG! I can’t believe you didn’t get anything!’ in our senior years.

Ah yes, the joyful shallowness of secondary school relationships. It’s like everyone just started pairing up at a point, just to beat the graduation window. Anyway, I recall, was it SS2 or SS3, when all the girls that got gifts, were apparently so insanely tickled by their good fortune that they thought it would be (*starts silly white girl voice*), like, totally cool to like, put all the gifts together and like soo take pictures, just cos, you know, they could?

My eyes practically rolled to the back of my head when I saw it. Teddy bears and plastic roses and other red paraphernalia lined up in a creative arc on a bed, then the money shot: Each chick with her own stuff. God. Most of those relationships didn’t even make it past grad.

In university, things got more interesting. More cash to burn, bigger chicks to impress. I had a friend that almost lost her mind every Val’s searching for the perfect gift. On that day, people used to piss me off with this line, ‘Happy Vals!’. I usually replied that with the scowl or forced smile of my choice. Happy Vals? What, is it a public holiday? If it’s so big and pivotal, no one should go to work. Then, and only then, will I indulge in that silly greeting.

What irritated me was the look many girls got or gave at the prospect of not receiving a gift: ‘Aw, eeya, don’t worry, next year it will be your turn’ or ‘I wish I was getting a gift’… The look of complete, unadulterated ENVY dropping from their faces like sweat, when some girl entered the hall with some huge bag or whatever. If it was some ‘big boy’ from outside, even better. He’d park in whatever ostentatious car he could bring, right in front of the hall, and all of them would press their faces against the window, waiting, watching. One really funny year, a girl got a new car. Oh, God. Didn’t hear the end of that one. Kitty and I had a laugh there. We were like, ‘well, with those keys, she has given out her right to refuse him pretty much anything. Including a marriage proposal’.

WTF? I totally don’t blame many guys that aim for singledom every February. It’s too much pressure. We girls are horribly materialistic creatures, and we EXPECT something. I’m sure they wake up every 14th, cursing St Valentine, wondering whose bright idea it was.

I don’t think it was a completely stupid idea, Vals, it is a ‘celebration of love’ after all. For those that are genuinely citizens of the land of mush and luurve, today’s like their Independence Day/Christmas. Currently I’m facing the pressure. I don’t like thinking too hard about such things, but here I am. I’d rather do something interesting than get a gift. I told Viva. I’ve reached that point in my life where very few material things could blow me out of the water. At 21, I don’t know if that’s good or sad. But I won’t say no to a new car.  Frankly, I think a gift’s an easy way out (yes, I’m THAT hard to please). Gifts are for birthdays. Anyone could pop into a store and get a teddy bear (of which, don’t do it, just don’t, totally pointless things). But it takes thought and effort to plan a nice day/night out … or in.

Not so? That said, I strolled into the office this morning for t, my eyes assaulted by chicks in red, and guys in red ties (*shudders*), and my ears already harassed with about four ‘Happy Valentines!’. I think, so far, I have hidden my repulsion well. Yeah, I know, I’m a killjoy. You can refer to me as the scrooge that stole Valentine’s. Vals is all good, but I don’t see the BIG deal in it. I’ve told Darkman more than once that my life would go on if we don’t see today, he probably thinks I’m off my rocker. But… it’s your first Vals, he goes. And I’m like, yeah… I guess… whatever… you know. Let’s not lose our heads.

All you lovers out there have fun though. And all you single boys and gals… it’s all good. 🙂
(*ha! betcha thought I would wish u a happy one, huh? *)


18 thoughts on “It’s Vals – And Yes, I Still Don’t Care!

  1. Oh dear, thank God you are feeling better. Was worried there for a minute.
    Well, I agree that there is a lot of hype about the whole Vals day thing. A lot of people have lost the true essence of what today is supposed to be. But nevertheless, I celebrate it in Wisdom and understanding. lol.

    Ok, whatever, Happy Vals Day to you, regarless of how you feel.*grin*

    And Seems like I’m gonna be first. Yay!!!

  2. wow u really weird.I personally don’t see anything special about the day, to me it’s like any other shud be shown to ones loved ones all the time.

  3. What you said is one of the many reasons I never wear red and white on valentine’s day. As was the case last year, I’m draped in black (and I mean, boy, oh boy, did I take the concept to greater heights. I’m talking about black hair, black shoes, a black dress, dark make-up and black nail polish). I digress.

    I believe Valentine’s day started off as a perfectly innocent gesture (a celebration of love – which should be every other day, might I add) that was unfortunately commercialized. It’s sad, but true. Everyone wants a piece of the pie, and Vals is a perfect time for businesses to make a killing for teh simple fact that, as is the obsession with weight loss, love sells. It does. In this century, it would be easier to find a Loch Ness monster than it would be to find a woman that doesn’t want a man in her life.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like getting gifts. And I can say that in the comfort that I won’t come across as a materialistic biatch. For me, it’s the thought that comes with giving someone a gift that counts the most. So whether it is a home made card or a stuffed animal the size of a pyramid matters not to me. If it is sincere, I’ll accept it. And truth is, I don’t mind not getting a gift. In fact, most times I’m surprised when I do get one (even on my birthday). So for me, it’s not the clichés of vals day that get to me, but the sad realisation that many people just don’t get it.

    They simply don’t! The manufactures don’t get it, the sellers don’t get it, and the buyers most certainly don’t get it. Societal pressures have taken away the values of such a day.

    Case in point: I just found out one of my colleagues bought herself a val’s gift and had it delivered. WHY???

    I read something today that you might be interested to read about Valentines day on Jexx’s blog ( Have a look at it when you have time on your hands.

  4. @ naija chickito
    i will forgive you, cos u mean well!

    @today’s ranting
    how am i weird? We seem to feel the same way!

    kudos to the all black thing…
    i feel you though, who doesnt like getting gifts?
    The whole buy yourself a gift so you dont seem sad, however, is VERY SAD. Get a grip woman!
    And I’ll check out that blog, cos lets face it, I never have THAT much to do!

  5. Thank God you’re feelin ok. Was beginnin to get worried there when i didn’t see any new posts coming in but then i didn’t worry because…
    …on the 4th of july you can expect fireworks, at winter it will definately snow, on st. patrick’s day there is an all green parade and on the 14th of feb onyidchic will..

    And i cant remember the thing with all the chicks takin pics of their gifts in sec school. Seriously?

    well, i guess its just like any other day or celebration to me (yes even my birthday which i have forgotten about countless times)- as far as i’m concerned, nothing special is going on.

    (i would have sent this to u in an email but i’m too lazy to open my mail)
    Oh yeah, before i forget. I was picked to sing backup at a welsh womens conference and through a weird series of events, the head of the worship team heard me play the guitar and was impressed. So now i’m singing and playing the guitar at the conference. And he also told me to go to this Tim guy at the end of the month (that guy is a guitar guru) so i guess this has turned out to be my best vals day but for all the wrong reasons.



  7. Rant*{s}, Love*, Vals*, WTF*, Just do it* {like Nike}, OR have fun laughing at the overhyped lovers*/lovers day*.

    Meanwhile, I think its a smart idea/concept and the message is: ” We know how selfish the human mind is {bloody mere mortals} weh have carefully BRANDED this 1 {one} day as a day of love; a day of selflessness, a day to give, receive and show {or feign} love. Come on, its just a day in a full year…you can do it, all of you. I know I would have done it if I wasn’t too broke…now, the lovely lady is mad at me. Heard she’s been mumbling names like ‘Smith and Wessons’ in her sleep.

  8. That was a long interesting read. I totally feel u on that one. Everything is so commercialized these days it takes the joy out of the whole thing.

  9. So glad u are up babes, was really getting worried for a while there..

    As I told bobo, I dont much beleive in vals but I better be getting something….

    I got a lovely card and chocs..

  10. okay, me i have nothing to comment… because, even if i do not believe in the whole hype thingy, i think its just a day dedicated to showming some love to everyone…. its not all about spending alot of money ohhhhh…

  11. Lmaoooo o Lawd Ony ur insane in a good way. I’m still laughin @ d girls pressing der faces on d window n dem sec skool girls takin pics of der gifts….I didn’t knw its d@ bad in naija.
    Its not really a big deal here.

  12. hmmmm,

    i smiled after reading thru this post,
    true valentine is over rated i think, its purely a day to show love to ur loved ones, thats not say u shuldnt show love on any other days,i dont mind getting gifts on this day tho


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