I think the title is very self-explanatory.
Onyeka went to the gym on Saturday and overdid it. That’s the long and short of this story. I blame myself. I was feeling like a star.
I didn’t even wake up with the intention of performing any form of physical activity. I literally screwed myself over. I crawled out of bed at about ten am, feeling good, and happy for the rest. I had no concrete plans for the day, so I decided later on in the afternoon I would head down to the office and finish up some work. I stepped out and saw my sis, and for SOME reason, I decided to do some skipping. After a minute of that I thought, why do this half-baked workout when there’s a gym down the road that’s basically pay-as-you-go?
So, I borrowed my sister’s trainers, threw on some Capri pants and a Virgin t-shirt and hopped over there with my iPod in my pocket. This was at 12 noon.
I got in, paid, and because I was there so late, the place was empty. One of the trainers came up to me and the receptionist told him I wanted a ‘workout’. He got me on the treadmill. I’ve been to the gym before, but never on the treadmill. I was actually hoping for the elliptical, because it meant less strain on my semi-rheumatic bones, but whatever. I was to be on it 20 mins he said. No probs. He gradually increased the speed and because I had no playlist on my ipod at the moment, decided to listen to the calming echoes of Enya. I pretty much jogged for 20 minutes. (*high five*) My heart was slightly achey, and I was sweating in places you wouldn’t believe, but the machine said I had burned 110 calories, and I felt GREAT.
I got off and felt a moment of dizziness. The trainer asked if I was okay, and I waved him off. On to the cycle-machine thigny! After a 2-minute break, I was cycling. Kept going, for about 10 minutes, and the trainer, who by this time was rather impressed with my ‘fitness’ level thought it would be a great idea to increase the resistance to the highest for the last 1 minute. I barely made it. I stood up and this time, the dizziness was unmistakeable. But I walked to the next machine and sat down.
That’s where it all hit rock-bottom. I suddenly felt a strange and highly unpleasant weakness, like someone had just drained all the blood from my arms and legs. You ever get that? Like if you sit somewhere uncomfortable for too long like the loo, and you get up? Well, to add to that drama, I suddenly felt like my stomach was about to heave. And all I could think about was when I watched this show on MTV called ‘Made’, where this highly overweight teen was being trained to be a cheerleader, and she went running for the first time in her life and threw up halfway through.
That thought did not help. I HATE throwing up, and have only done so once in the past 9 years. But I realised this condition was more than me and pleaded for the loo. I got there and… heaved. And heaved. And heaved. I hadn’t eaten in over 12 hours, and my body had nothing to throw up. The trainer was stunned. I felt stupid. I couldn’t have gotten so horribly unfit, could I?
Feeling better, I went back out, and insisted that I would continue, dammit. He was doubtful, but I wanted to prove I wasn’t a wuss. No such luck. After three stomach exercises, I went weak again. I sat down and tried to find my bearings. I couldn’t heave again. But I did.
(*Gross story alert*)
But this time, my body was hell bent on throwing SOMETHING up. I think I threw up stomach juices. All I knew was that it was BITTER and GREENISH. And this time, I said, screw it, I’m not going to throw up my intestines for a workout. The trainer was apologising, saying he shouldn’t have pushed me so hard on the cycle thingy. Iwas just nodding weakly, like yeah, whatever. I sat under the ac for a bit, and got up, drenched (the guy had oured water on me while I was heaving) and tired.
Somehow I made it home, had a cold bath and made some lunch before passing out for three hours. Needless to say, as of this morning I ache all over. But am I discouraged? Heck no! I’m going back next week!
The drama continues…