When Things Stop Making Sense


So, there I was, minding my own business, browsing the net as usual before I got down to serious work, and I happened upon a site I’ve become a bit of a fan of (http://feministe.us/blog) these days:



The first article made my heart break a little. What’s the deal with us in this country? Why are we, as Nigerians, so SELFISH and hypocritical? What’s with all these people who are firmly implanted on their moral high horses? I’m so sick of this pretending to be holier-than-thou crap.

Another such case is the story of the rigged-in Senator (not so sure about this, but I’m hating right now), Ekaete, who feels that of all the laws she could be bringing into light (like addressing the abortion issue above for instance), she felt she ought to tackle ‘indecent dressing’. After all, if a woman gets harassed by a guy because she happens to be wearing something above her knees then it’s her fault, and not the randy, undisciplined fellow that can’t control himself *eye roll*.

Don’t act like y’all don’t see it, a wretched society of double standards and finger-pointing where most people are afraid to express themselves for fear of being condemned by the same people who get up to shadiness in their own homes. The same people who comfortably get away with all kinds of atrocities because they know they also live in a society where certain behavior is pushed into a cupboard, and silence is encouraged. It’s weird. It’s hypocritical. And I’m sick of it. They’ll all wear their best geles and laces and prance into church on Sunday and practically sleep on the altar, so other people will think they’re great, upright people. It’s BS. Women out there judging other young women, when their husbands are busy frollicking with the neighbour’s daughter, and they artfully ‘look the other way’. EEEUUURGGH.

One of my biggest fears for this country is that the backwardness and old-fashioned ignorance will still be carried on to our generation. Sure, a few people would snort and say, ‘Oh, they’re trying to copy Western culture’. I have to ask, is that a 100% bad thing? Riding in fancy cars and building lavish homes made of marble, have they been ingrained in the ‘Nigerian culture’ since the beginning of time? Can anyone fault how far we’ve come while ‘copying’ this EVIL culture? Why then, do we wear suits to work despite the fact that we live in a perpetually warm and unsavory climate for such clothing?

I read a story on Indemili’s (I apologize for messing up this name, but my computer crashed recently, and I lost a lot of my links, so if anyone knows who I mean, please let me know, I’ve been trying to relocate her blog for days) blog about women and keeping silent when their husbands maltreat them. That post hit a nerve. If the husband is cheating/beating his wife, it’s almost acceptable, if a woman has so much as a bad temper, she will be publicly shamed and reported.


Now, I’m not advocating abortion or anything, I mean, if you put your foot in it, deal with it, don’t rob a human being of their chance at life, but I won’t hang anyone I knew for doing it. Our leaders and older folks keep on harping and singing about abstinence (which, FYI, I’m also not against), banning contraceptives, and preaching decent dressing like it’s ever made a difference. People have been fornicating since the word ‘GO’, so such laws, in times as these, when people are straying even further away from the prudish ideologies of our fathers (eg, no male friends, as in, like, seriously?) and many of these above-mentioned ‘moralists’ are sending their children to the (*omg evil*) West, are totally and completely POINTLESS. If nothing else, they’re further pushing people to commit their ‘sins’ in private, and dangerously.


I’m having expression problems. I’m tired of people quick to jump and judge, ‘OMG, look at her skirt, what a tart.’ Or ‘she had a child outside wedlock, she is incapable of ever finding love’, or something equally stupid.
Live and let live. You’re not perfect, so don’t pretend to be. I also don’t have anything against moral, decent people. I have a thing against those ‘decent’ people who feel it’s their place to put others down or lock them in a corner for their imperfections.

Damn… I’ve lost my train of thought for this rant. Please note I was being sarcastic with the whole evil West stuff.

8 thoughts on “When Things Stop Making Sense

  1. I composed a brilliant mini rant for this yesterday, but alas tis gone forever.

    -Those in the government seem to enjoy wasting time and energy, banning condoms and making bills about ‘indecent dressing’. Maybe they’ll tackle the horrors of dirty looks and hissing next.

    -Hope you’re good girl.

  2. keep talking….

    you know sometimes i think of all this stuff and i’m so raged and it suddenly feels so heavy to talk about.

    the indecent dressing rape relatively is so bullish, i mean i know a couple of those randy men who stop and try to chat me up even when dressed in my hijab, like hello i’m all covered up, does it mean i enticed them? its pure ignorance and one we have to be delivered from fast.
    theres child labor, theres prostitution and homelessness, theres domestic violence and tramping on womens rights happening every corner of our beautiful country…shouldnt that be top priority on the agenda?

    its rants like this that make them label ‘feminist’…but if it isnt said out loud by a worried woman who isnt scared of speaking and calling a spade a spade, is it to be ignored and probably buried?…na, its we who keep quite that suffer the ills most.

    okay so i’ve blabbed a llil; here, i’ll storm outta here just now…lol

  3. Why are we, as Nigerians, so SELFISH and hypocritical?

    Finally someone said it! As much as I love our country, we’re the WORST to one another. I cannot tell you how much times I asked someone at a party who made their lace and they claim the outfit was a ‘gift’. Things that make me go hmmmm…

  4. The truth is several layers of clothing won’t stop the thoughts of a man going into the gutter. Its just a matter of personal discipline which sadly most of us lack. As for the hypocrisy… this is Africa. We’ve been so from the get-go. It’s pretty much a “blame it on the little guy” thing. It’s just unfortunately (no offense) “the little guy” is womankind.

  5. That whole indecent dressing thing is the most ‘backwardest’ thing I ever heard..OK maybe not, but it definitely makes me shake my head. I guess they are just trying to distract us while they steal money, make it seem like they are actually doing something of importance! (Just goes to show how daft they are…or think we are!)

    The hypocrisy exhibited by Nigerians is over and beyond believe… if were were soooo good & perfect like we try to portray, we won’t be where we are today as a nation…I’m ranting I know…this post has got me all pissed…

  6. @ la reine

    lol, at the second paragraph. I cant believe how clueless these people that get into power can be?!?

    @ fantasy queen,
    rant on girl. It irritates me continuosly that people still make rape the ‘woman’s fault’. it’s ridiculous.
    Let them call me a feminist, i dont care. We need a lot more of those in this country where women are expected to be seen and not heard.

    @ chichi
    I have no words, my dear. Thinking about it gets me angry every time i think about it.


    um… yeah……?

    just because its the way we’ve been doesn’t mean it’s the way its the way we should continue. That’s the kind of attitude that holds us back as a people: ‘Yeah, that’s how its always been’. How bout standing up for some change?

    @naija chickito
    that’s it right there jo. If everyone is so UPRIGHT and PERFECT why aren’t we making more progress????
    It’s bullcrap.

  7. Whao! Inspite of your rant it’s still a great post. Unfortunately Nigeria is so backwards I don’t see any movement forward in this generation. And you know what’s Ironic? The blacks movement here in the US are so proud of their “african sisters and brothers” ha! if only they knew.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s