Africa – Stopping Celebs & Stereotypes

Lohan’s time in rehab also led her to develop an interest in altruism and a desire to reach out to others less fortunate. “I’m planning a trip to Africa during the second week in December,” she told In Touch magazine.

First stop on Paris Hilton’s postjail goodwill tour – Rwanda. The hotel heiress said she will visit the African country this fall as part of her commitment to use her celebrity to highlight global causes, E! Online reported yesterday. “There’s so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help,” Hilton said.

Paris Hilton? Lindsay Lohan? Coming to do what exactly??? We’re still trying to get rid of Brangelina and Bono!
I don’t know about YOU guys, but I’m really OVER this mad stereotype that is ‘Africa’. I’m also over this irritating ideology that Africa is THE place to go to prove you’re

  1. A redeemed criminal/drug addict/social psychopath
  2. Kind and loving
  3. NOT a stingy, arrogant son-of-a-gun

And you know what? It BLOWS. I’m also over the concept that

  1. Africa is one big country
  2. We all speak one language
  3. We live in trees, ride on camels and other stupid uncivilized crap
  4. We’re all black as sin and skinny
  5. We’re starving and have flies attached to our faces
  6. We all wear loincloths, have fluffy hair and speak weird clucking languages
  7. Africa is a humongous, hot wasteland with cracked floors and zebras on our front lawns
  8. Everywhere in Africa is war-torn.

What’s with all the bad press?! Ok, so we’re ‘under-developed’ and okay a few countries here and there are fighting. Yeah, we GET IT. But I think our continent is UNBELIEVABLY misunderstood and badly represented. Every foreign TV station is guilty. You haven’t depicted Africa till you show kwashiorkor infected children, or hungry looking women with loads on their heads. Good looking, healthy people? In cars? Nah, others may not get it.

*eye roll*

I looked at a group on Facebook, made by a few irritated Africans who were tired of being asked retarded questions. Here’s a sample:

  • “lol i managed to convince my entire high school that i had killed a lion – with my bare hands!in order to become a man!! i mean come onnnnn!!oh and apparently i learnt english in two weeks!and wait theres more…according to one clever girl theres a King of Africa!! Nelson Mandela apparently…”
  • “Please check out the ignorance that still resides in people’s mind about our wonderful CONTINENT.
  • “This is one question i get asked sometimes: so do you people have lions and tigers running around there? do you even have electricity? I just answer: Yes – I have a pet elephant that I use for transport..”
  • “The classic for me(it actually pissed me off) was during a uni lecture when my supposedly learned lecturer went on to talk about how things physically adapt to their environment, in this instance, how Africans have semi-webbed/claw-like feet because they climb trees and their feet need to be that way to be able to have a good grip of the tree trunks they climb. Shocking!!”

How did it come to this? It’s disgusting almost, how people can’t make an EFFORT to find out about things before they talk. Jay-Z actually said, when he came to Nigeria last year, that he was ‘impressed’. Oh, thanks Jay, what were you expecting exactly? Savannahs? Every time someone goes to Africa, everyone else thinks its ‘charity’ or ‘goodwill’. Yeah, there are just no VISITABLE places here, just hungry people to feed. Go you! Even CNN. They have shows for Asia, Europe, even the Middle East, showing lovely cultures and landscapes. Inside Africa? Friggin’ joke! The opening credits include a scary looking kid and wasteland, and the show NEVER focuses on positive things except the occasional artist.

I don’t want to get political. Or emotional. Or whatever. But I think it’s time we started trying to re-brand ourselves. At the same time, Geography should be taken more seriously by all those stupid foreigners. I don’t want to say white people, cos Black-Americans are equally guilty. Those are even worse. I’ve heard and read too much crap where a Black-American says stuff like, ‘I might not be so okay here, but at least I’m not starving in Africa’. WTF??? Your mates are over here driving Benz’s bro! GRRR.

And while we’re on it. Can someone PLEASE stop all these celebrities from joining this apparently trendy club called ‘I Helped an African’? I think it’s been added to a 12-step program or something cos APPARENTLY, it’s now a thing after you’ve been caught with your pants down to suddenly feel a need to ‘go to Africa and help someone’. WHATEVER. 75% of them do nothing but carry their paparazzi and hype over the Atlantic. FYI, it’s not cute, anymore. I, personally don’t want to hear that Paris Hilton might show up on my doorstep. You want to help? Get an atlas, and stop calling Africa like it’s a country. People go to France, Japan, Iraq. No-one ever says, ‘Person A touched down in Asia last night’. Yet it’s ALWAYS, ‘She went to Africa’. Get a clue.

If a celebrity wants to ‘help’, I really don’t care. But making a big deal of it, announcing it to anyone that will listen… It’s hypocritical and annoying.

I’m sorry if this post looks disjointed. I was just calling up the many offences as they came along in my head. And, it’s taken me too long to post this, so my anger has passed. For now.


So, Apparently Britney’s Back

Gimme More – Britney Spears.
Believe it or not, I was a big Britney fan. Not so much these days. I’ll never forget the first time I heard Baby One More Time when it first came out back in 1999. It was so catchy, and my admiration was instant. I was also a huge Justin/Britney shipper, and was upset when they broke up. I admit, I saw the tumble coming. The instant she left that boy, it was a mess. I even kinda forgave her for marrying K-Fed. As long as she didn’t have any kids. No dice. The 2nd one came along, and my patience for the girl was hanging by a thread. Then the whole, acting-weird-shaving-head-doing-crazy-stuff-rehab phase ensued, and I felt hurt, like I was watching my own sister act like a lunatic (which come to think of it, she is, but that’s for another day). But I couldn’t let go.
Then this. She’s back, barring court cases and weird run-ins with the press. I admit, I was scared I won’t like it, but I do. I just wish her well. And hope she gets over this.
Have a listen. Tell me what you think.

Fantastic Four: Rise Of the Silver Surfer

So, it’s a bit late, I know. My schedule’s been of the chain lately,and I haven’t had the time to watch anything. But I was hell-bent and last night D and I defied all the odds (including the crazy mad fluke traffic after work and our poor timing) and went to go to see it. To be honest i really wanted to see Ocean’s 1, but it was too late at night.

Anyway, here’s a quickie verdict. It was just there. Not great, not FANTASTIC, just there. I became shockingly aware of some of the really bad acting by Jessica Alba and the husband whose name I do not know and can’t be bothered to Google. There really wasn’t that much of a story line, and Silver Surfer, for all of his glossy , metallic glory, was a bit unenthusiastic.

As is the case these days with all these action/superhero movies, it seems the director was more concerned in the special effects and awe-striking trickery than anything else. Cos I can’t fault the effects. Especially when the human torch and SS were getting it on. Oh, and when he was fighting Von Doom.

Which brings me to another issue. Doom was acting like he didn’t want to be in the movie, and spent most of the time standing in the background, wearing black and looking sinister. His end was tres anti climatic, so much so that I didn’t know I had seen the last of him, till I never saw him again.

But, bless, Johnny was there to provide comic relief (and eye candy), and one of his best lines was when he made fun of Ben and his girlfriend just before the wedding. I won’t spoil it and tell you, but it involved the word ‘rockslide’. Another good scene was when he stepped out of the shower… for oh-so-many reasons…:)

Anyway, it was alright, but I wish I really had just waited to watch it on DVD, and channeled my cash towards something more inspiring, like hopefully Ocean’s 13. I don’t know about Transformers. I’m already funny things about it, but we’ll see.

Rating: 6/10

Africa & Celebrities

link –> spiked – Welcome to the People’s Republic of Bono * A Similar Article spiked – When Celebrities Rule the World

I liked these articles. It spoke my mind, in more ways than one. Why should some rock star be campaigning our cause more than us (because, believe it or NOT, there were actually AFRICAN leaders at the G8 summit)? More importantly, why should ANYONE be campaigning ANYTHING? As Africans, I’ve come to believe we are the victims of our own foolishness. There’s NOTHING stopping us form progressing but our greed, ignorance and absolute LAZINESS. People dying of hunger in some country? Maybe if the citizens would STOP fighting for power, they wouldn’t have that problem!
The only African countries that actually have actually progressed some are awash with white people! Are we, as blacks just doomed to self-destruction? Even the ones in other countries are usually trailed with issues. It’s sad, really. And not to sound negative, but I seriously never see Africa becoming like say, Asia. At least, not before the second coming of Jesus.

P.S. Words cannot even begin to describe my beef for Brangelina