Stick it in Your Eye – Why I Think I Rock (1)

I haven’t updated in… a while. I wish I had a good reason this time, like an illness or a trip to some exotic location. However, the simple thing is this: I was uninspired. Everyday it crossed my mind that I wanted to blog… but I didn’t. A couple of times I actually started a couple of posts, but I lost my fire halfway through. Again, no real reason for that either. Maybe I just had things on my mind that were beyond blogging about.

That said, I’ve been feeling strongly about a lot of things – like inequality to women, and Nigerian greed, and Obama running for President of the US, and total annihilation of mankind. I’ve also been nursing some scarily VIOLENT homicidal tendencies again (one of such was when I imagined beating a robber to death with my ultra large umbrella; I admit it freaked even me out).

I’ve been doing a lot of random, stupid stuff, like Social Networking. If you look to the right of my blog, you’ll see my Twitter updates :). I have also been accused of using ‘nerd slangs’ like ‘W00t’. I’ve been hearing that a lot more these days. Darkman actually called me ‘gadget girl’ once. Or twice. Just cos I have a huge action-packed iPod, a bulky phone and have my eyes greedily set on an HP dv9000t (*experiences a moment of euphoria at the thought*). A colleague once said I was almost a tomboy, too. Hmm.

I was reading a couple of things here and there, and being in a relationship has mad me really reflect on a few things about the future and marriage and (*gasp*) kids, and my career and after getting myself worked up over SOME things, I just thought, ‘you know what? Screw it. I rock.’ So for any guy/girl out there:

  1. Yeah, I’m a bit of a nerd. I embrace the classification wholeheartedly. I’ve played with computers since the days of DOS, and I still play with them now. Fair enough, I realised on Tuesday that I had an installaholic syndrome of just randomly installing any software that tickles my fancy (and you think after all this time I’d learn). I love playing games, I love phones chock full of features, I love just playing around brand new shiny laptops and pressing buttons (think of Dee-Dee, you’re close). I can successfully spend 24hrs on the net and not get bored. I’m now privy to saying things like, ‘OMG’ and ‘WTF’ in real life, and I love it.
  2. Yeah, I listen to weird, obscure music. BITE ME for having a musical taste that spans beyond Boyz II Men and 2face. Yes, I listen to all the tracks on those popular albums no-one listens to. They’re actually good! So what, I listen to Enya while working, and Linkin Park when power-walking. Got a problem?
  3. 3. Yeah, I’m a feminist. I think I fully accepted that fact this week. If any of you have happened to venture onto Nairaland’s Romance section recently, you’d see all the sort-of objectifyingly pointless topics on the ideal woman, and Nigerian women don’t do this and don’t that, and I admit, I got a bit peeved. Yeah, that’s right. You put up your feet up dear husband, and act like making money is so hard. Yet you want ur ‘perfect wife’ to be hot, good-looking, great in bed, great in the kitchen, employed, have a basketball team for children, a housekeeper, and SOMEHOW, also be loving and caring and submissive. *Eye roll*. I don’t do submissive. I can be feisty, and I HATE getting the lower end of the stick. And none of you give me that, oh, but it’s women’s lot. Yeah, WHATEVER. If you’re treating me like crap, you’ll have no peace. Guaranteed.
  4. Yeah, I don’t REALLY care what you think. I mean, I don’t come off as a snob. Or a b****. But I’m not going to bend over backwards to impress anyone. If you don’t like me, it’s not taking years of my life. I have enough friends already.
  5. Yeah, I’m never going to be THAT chick. I’m never going to enjoy shopping of any kind. I’m never going to care if I’m wearing the ‘latest’ fashion, whatever it is. I believe in timeless clothing. Nicely cut jeans with a flirty, sort-of low cut top never grows old. And no, I never saw the beauty in skinny jeans, and bright yellow bags. I can’t be bothered with 4 layers of make-up. Got pimples? They’ll go one day. No point lying to the general public. Lip gloss is still the best and only necessary form of makeup ever invented. Half the time, you’re going to catch me with my natural hair. It’s not long and glorious, is almost always due and in my weird permed style, and hasn’t been black since I was a kid. I look presentable and I still have stalkers, so I must be doing SOMETHING right.
  6. Yeah, you know what? I’m overweight. I know. I look in the mirror everyday. Telling me that I am hasn’t taken the pounds off. If you like everything about me but my belly, you’ve got a problem I can’t help you address.
  7. Yeah, I’m not a homely person. I clean my house because I have to. And I cook because it’s the only alternative to starvation. I’m no Jamie Oliver. I mean, I have most recipes up there in my head I think, and I’ve successfully done many dishes countless times, but if you’re looking for that gourmet Nigerian dinner of pounded yam and egusi soup, you’re on your own. If I’m a guest at YOUR house, you’d have to give me a really good reason (preferably financial, lulz) as to why I should enter YOUR kitchen or suddenly clean YOUR mess just cos I’m there.
  8. Yeah, I’m a chick, but I’m not shallow. I feel embarrassed when chicks out there have this quest for money. I don’t get it. They have their own. They should spend it.
  9. I really don’t need a guy. No guy has gotten me to where I am, and I refuse to compromise just so I can have a MRS attached to my name in forms.
  10. Speaking of which, I have no plans of getting married before I’m 26. Where’s the rush? What’s the big deal? Ok, you’re married. So? What’s that magical benefit you’re receiving? You want kids now? Why? What’s the difference between today and next 2 years? Do you think marriage is child’s play? Do you think raising a family when you can barely feed yourself is fun? What’s wrong with you?

There’s probably more. But I’m tired. And believe it or not, I actually have work to do. To be continued. Peace.


Happy Birthday to me… Happy Birthday to…. Yeah Whatever

Really late post. I’m 21 today, yay! Finally I can … *thinks*

Do all the things I’ve already been doing…??? I dunno.

It didn’t start out too well what with my phone being under intensive care, but some calls, some texts, and visit from Darkman later…

It’s not bad.

I’m grateful though. Grateful to be alive, well, working, with friends, family and a guy who adores me. What more can a girl ask for??


Quickie Update

Considering how long it took me to open Word, I can’t exactly call it QUICK. I have a system plagued by Trojans.

I’ve updated my blog roll. To be fair, I was subscribed to most of the blogs for ages, but I was lazy to update my template (which I still haven’t started work on). Oh, and I also made my header image a link back to the home page (a fair feat, believe me).

Anyway, my weekend was mostly dry. Went to Agbara, slept all through, and decided to escape Agbara yesterday afternoon to engage in ‘other’ activities. I’d talk about the traffic I had to endure on Thursday, but it was generally a crappy day, and I don’t feel like sharing.

I hate my hair. Did some thing that I feel is a cross between something my mum would do and a cheap 70’s afro style. A few people at work said they liked it, but what do they know? Doesn’t help that a certain someone cracked like, 10 jokes over it on Sunday. It’ll be gone by Friday night.

Apparently I might soon be moving out. It’s something that’s happening quicker than I thought. Never has the road to freedom looked so foreboding. It’s a really good offer. Best I’ve heard in a while… ok, EVER, and I know if I wait till January like I wanted, I might regret it. I’m so confused. And if I pay now, it means I’ll have to wait a while longer for an ipod and a new phone, the latter of which I desperately need. Will talk to mother, she knows best.

I’m also faintly broke. I’m not starving or anything, but considering what I earned last month, it’s an embarrassing balance to have more than a week before the next pay-day.

I’m considering buying Fidelity shares. But what do I know? I’ve bought 3 sets of shares this year, and I STILL don’t have a broker. I admit it, I’m lazy. And I have only received the share certificate for ONE.

I’m also having body image issues. Nothing new there, but it’s bugging me more than usual these days, so for like, the millionth time in my short life, I’m on a diet.

Speaking of the body, I still have that damned cough. I’ve conceded defeat and started OD’ing on cough syrup.

I’m wearing a new suit. I like it loads.

Did I mention I really hate my hair?



Now What?

So, I’m very pensive at the moment. And I don’t know what caused this. Maybe it’s a couple of things that went down during the weekend, maybe it’s the impending end of my NYSC, and the official start of my adult life, or maybe it’s just a very random mood swing I’m experiencing, or maybe it’s even the really tight shoes I’m wearing that’s stopping the flow of happy hormones to my head. I don’t know.

All I know is, I’m not very happy. There really isn’t that much to be UNHAPPY about, but I’m not really happy nonetheless.

So, D stops work this week, which means I’ve officially lost my good, free ride to work. That upset me more than it should have, and I’ve been thinking of a better way to get to work on time that doesn’t involve waking up at 4.45am to catch the staff bus, or entering hot public transport. Yeah, a car one again, has never looked so good. And what’s going to happen to our wild drive-home conversations???

There were also plans to move in with a friend come September, which would have been so good for me, cos it would have meant a shorter distance to work, AND a shot at independence. But a  couple of things are getting in the way, like parents who don’t know how to let go, and finances.

Also, D abandoned me today to go somewhere, so I have to take the staff bus home. Sigh. It’s already feeling like I have no ride, and it’s miserable. To add to my discontent, we still have a bloody rat at home, and I’m not in a hurry to go there.

Then, there was something that happened in the past 48 hours that I’ve been running over and over in my head. I’ve been accused of thinking too hard about things, and maybe I do. But I can’t help it. I have too many things in my life that I already regret doing, I don’t need to add a lot more to prove a point to anybody. Unfortunately, I still seem to be a victim of my own stupid choices. So, when it comes down to it, the question is, do I STOP thinking things through so much, and throw a little caution to the wind, or keep this foolishness up?

I’m just neither here or there, right now. I’m unhappy. I need something new and refreshing to happen. And it’s really annoying.

Oh Baby 2 – The Horrid Conclusion

Babies. Kids. CHILDREN. Little angels. Miracles. God’s gifts.

Little devils. Rampaging rugrats. Proverbial pains.

Everyone has their own opinion of them. I once wrote about how I was craving a lil one to cuddle. Just cuddle. Then return. You know like a rental.  But that was just a phase I thought I was passing through.

It wasn’t. I’ve actually found myself becoming more open-minded to human beings below the age of 13. I was once initially very disturbed by this because it meant I was becoming in touch with my maternal side. And this only meant to me that I was getting old. But I feel better about it now. I still don’t know what to do with ickle ones beyond pulling their cheeks, but chances are that these days, if you lock me in a room with a 2 year old, you MAY NOT find me pressed against the window an hour later.

They’re really cute things. Most children. Till they cry, of course, then they’re just little torturous monsters who are being difficult to hurt you.

Anyway, I was watching Eastenders last week – YES, I watch Eastenders – And i watched an episode where this woman was in labour and almost gave birth on a train. I watched in amused horror as her body proceeded to do al the things she didn’t want it to do. How she hit her friend who was helping her out, and finally when she finally had the kid, and was at home, her dad was like she shouldn’t be going out so soon cos of the ‘stitches’.

I think that last bit got me the most. STITCHES? Oh gawd. I mentioned this to my sister last night and she upset me further by telling me about her former roommate who was stitched back after birth AND made to sit on hot water.

Once upon a time, I had this romantic view of things, saying, why can’t I go natural, it’s all good. I used to harass B when she used to say she had no plans of a natural birth and I laughed when the other B said I should be her surrogate.  Times have changed. And the more stories  hear (and the more they all get medically proven), the more HORRIFIED I am of doing things God’s way. Sure, women have been doing it for CENTURIES and whatever, but right now, that’s like saying, people used to travel across countries using donkeys.

It’s possible, but it’s so MUCH easier to fly, isn’t it? My point, exactly.

So, it’s official. I don’t see myself having a natural birth. Dont tell anyone Call me what you wish.  I don’t care. I think it’s fair enough that you have to carry this selfish, heavy being for 9 months, and deal with all the pregnancy drama, bloating, swelling and the likes. In fact I think I’m being very generous.

Besides, that way, if my child ends up hating me in the future, it’ll be like, ‘ah, well, at least i didn’t have to endure 12 hours of excruciating pain’.