Hellish Stuff

I left my house at 5.30 this morning. Why? Cos of those dam rats! The instant i stepped into my room last night, there it was, ruing of the window in front my bed. I did nothing. Instead, I picked up the bag I dropped and walked out the way I came. My sis and I seriously contemplated telling my dad. But he was being his usual, charming self, complaining about pointless things, and succeeded in pissing us off. You know there’s something wrong if you can’t tell ur father there are creatures living with you cos he won’t be of any use. Sleeping last night was not enjoyable. I had to wrap my feet, and my eyes kept popping open.

I had a dream I got a free laptop and was left home alone. Only for my ‘boyfriend’ to turn up being some cute but annoyingly smiley blond guy(????). Signs of the times?

Anyway, I left early this morning cos D’s not going to work today. I haven’t followed him since Monday cs he didn’t have “fuel”, instead he followed his dad. I’ve already mocked/insulted him sufficiently for that.

But, lo, our staff bus… 3 of them, zoomed past me as I stood at what I was told was the rendezvous point, despite my fanatical waving and looks of desperation. I was seriously considering taking PT, but then this guy stops in front of me. Some middle-aged police officer (STALKER) that lives around me, who (for some reason) I keep jamming, and who I also found to my horror, works as part of the security at my bank.

But I entered.

Cos I’m retarded. It was only about twenty minutes, but it felt like YEARS. He did the usual. Misyanned, asked for my number (of which I gave my old no that’s probably been barred by Celtel), told me how the first day he saw me… you know the rest. But the red light went up when he tried to take my hand. I recoiled so quickly he reversed the action. I stayed in that position till I got to work.

Needless to say I almost flew out before the car stopped. He was acting hurt, asking if I was married (that question has become disturbingly common these days), if not, wasn’t he man enough??? Oh, the revulsion.

I guess I don’t need to say I’ve sworn to not enter the cars of stalkers. These are the moments when I appreciate following D ever so much, even he has his own pervy moments.

At least I can swat him.


Planes, Parties, Work and Stuff

Well, this was some sort of weekend. I got out of work Thursday still trying to figure out how I was going to go to my bash, make sure my father didn’t starve himself and still get home in time to get some sleep. He popped over to Ghana for some IT convention thingy, and thought it would be a good idea to take the keys to our Agbara crib with him.

Friday, after making my usual cameo at CD, I get over to Bu’s house so we could go see B off to Abuja at the airport. I recall stressing that we ought to leave on time cos we were meant to be there 11, 11.30. But as is always the Nigerian mentality (which includes not making provision for emergencies, and not believing in “the earlier the better”), I was put aside, and made to act like I was being ridiculous since the place is kinda near. So we left at 11. Before we could star the car, we realised (shock!) that there was barely enough fuel to get us to the mainland, talk of the airport. Alas, there’s fuel scarcity too! So after passing about 5 or 6 scary queues, we had to end up at Mobil in Maryland. This was 20 minutes to 12. B’s plane left at 1. I quietly mumbled, “this is why I said we should leave earlier…” Bu snapped that I was implying that i knew there’d be a queue. I said that I always leave early in case of EMERGENCIES.
We got to the airport at 12.20-something.

I haven’t been to an airport since I was 5 or 6. That makes twice now, and sadly, I wasn’t going anywhere both times. I also recall the airport being much nicer. We only had time for a 15 minute chat, and B had to go check in. We hung around a bit, waiting for B’s bf. Hadn’t seen him in a while. Also, some old, ugly dude hit on Bu and gave her his no. Eeurgh.

After, we popped over to some eatery near where I did my IT in ’05. I didn’t notice this until I saw 3 of my former colleagues from there.One of them asked why I bailed after just 2 days of work last summer. I told them I refused to be a victim of ‘bad blood’. The HR woman hated me (but now I think of it, stupid cow probably hated everyone), the Graphics guy had an inferiority complex with me and refused to let me join his dept, and frankly, the job I was given SUCKED. The company’s going to the dogs anyway, cos the MD left to head Microsoft Nigeria or something, and put the HR chick in charge. Oh the injustice.

I watched Shrek3 that night, but didn’t get to the last 7-10 minutes cos my sis came back (nuff said). My review looms.

I got a call Friday night that I had to come to work on Saturday. It was like a horror movie. Guess why.To research on our MD’s speech. It didn’t even click that that was what I was doing until afternoon, and I was VEXED. WTF??? I was there from 10 to 5. It was a stupid, unsearchable topic, and I acquired a headache from the biting cold in the office. I wanted go out, but it was too late.

The party was cool. And EXPENSIVE. It was at Saipan. Strict guest lists, masks (yea, we wore masks), all you can eat Chinese buffet, free BOOZE, and DJ Humility. Unfortunately, I realised that if guys had to choose between free alcohol and chicks, they’d die alone and drunk. They just sat there. They served the cakes with those sparkly, firework thingies. Very swank. We left at 11.30 however, cos we were the only ones we knew there beyond the birthday girl.

Sunday I went home early, and my dad had little to say about the fact that I stayed over at Bu’s place. At least I thought so till evening when he mumbled it to my mum. I’m not sure what he thinks I’m doing when I go to her place. But the man likes taking things upon himself anyway. I was also surprised to see that he was more capable of taking care of himself than he likes to show.

Had a dream about dying. Here it is in summary:
– dreamt I flew to L.A. ( i blame that bit on my airport trip)
– Paris Hilton and I (yeah, who’d have thunk it) went to a hot spot named Saipan … (see the pattern)
– the guy friend we saw at the airport and I were in a bus and it swerved and fell down a Looooong hill.
– I had an outer body experience where I watched myself dying and I became hysterical, but I ended up living.

Yeah, so I guess the weekend was okay. Not super-wonderful, and I didn’t meet any new people, but it beats sleeping.

Dreams & Stairs

So, I woke up this morning slightly chilled. One, because, I had falle asleep with BOTH the fan and the AC on, and i was losing the feeling in my legs. And two, cos I’d had a majorly disturbing dream. You probably won’t think it’s really disturbing. And I HAVE had dreams of a similar nature before, but none have been so long and so … real.

There I was, minding my own business, living in my old house…(mmm, my old house) and next thing i know, I’m pregnant. Funny thing is, it’s showing quite a bit, but according to my calculations, it’s 4 months gone. At first, it’s like, evryone knows about it, and I don’t really mind, cos DUH, it’s showing, but then, I suddenly get scared witless. We’re at this weird talk/seminar thing where Chris Okotie (wtf?!?!) is lecturing/preaching, then he passes round Rhapodies of Realities (ok….) and when we open it, we find phones inside. Free phones. I look up at him, and he smiles. And though grateful, I think the guy must be dishing out a lot of cash giving phones to his audience. Then, as a result of feeling sorry for my “condition”, he gives me this gift-pack of baby stuff. At least, that’s what it’s SUPPOSED to be. It contains an ironing-board, laundry basket, funny pink chiffon stuff….I’m scared to take it home cos my dad would see it. So I “hide” it in the living room (it’s a dream, ok?), while i get a visit from the “father”. Who is apparently a friend of mine. Because it’s just too weird, I’ll elaborate no further. He comes in with another friend, and I pull him away to talk. He’s happy to see me, and I’m like, “DUDE!!!! I’m pregnant!!!! HE-LLLO!!!”You know what he says to me? He says, “Yeah, is there a problem?’ I tell him I don’t want it. And I tell him why. For a while, I actually forget that I’ve finished school. I have a job, a career to build! And I don’t want to be a single mother! Without argument, he says he’ll keep the child when it’s born. I don’t want that either. I didn’t want it to be born at all. I leave him, and find myself seriously considering an abortion. I wake up at this point. it’s a bit summarised though. I dont know why it bugged me, maybe it was the concept or the person involved.On a good note, SOMEONE has finally reduced the airconditioning.

Went to work on May Day, just so that the person that asked me to come by one, won’t show up till 7. I had left 2 hours earlier. Who is she kidding?
One dude caught me attempting to chat yesterday. Ok, I have to complain. Yeah, yeah, chatting at work is “BAD”. WHATEVER. These gits are content enough that I have to check my Yahoo Mail on my phone. They block Messenger. Ok, no big. There are web messengers right? Wrong! They blocked ebuddy last week, but being the genius I am, found another, which I used on Tuesday. Come Wednesday, that was blocked too. What, is there someone just sitting around, Googling web messengers???!!!
But I mustn’t be ungrateful. I get to sit around all day, doing what I do best. And apparently I’m up for some training course. Oh hurray.

Yeah, and I finally figured away around the stairs. Since they only put bathrooms on the ground and 6th floor. And the one on the 6th is at the back, so you would look a little silly using the elevator in the front, then walking to the back. But the back staircase is giving me yams. So, yesterday afternoon, I noticed one of the cleaners entering some hidden elevator at the back. Yes, it’s true. It’s usually hidden by the staircase door. Go figure. I felt like I had found hidden treasure. I dont have to walk up stairs AND the elevator opens right in front of the lav! Hurray!