Maybe I Should Become a Lesbian…

Yes, i SAID it.

So, as far things go. Darkman is NO MORE.

Bus and I were chatting this morning, and we came to the same conclusion: Guys can be wastes of emotional energy. They make great friends… but the instance it becomes anything more than that… DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.

As for what happened between me and the fella? Too much. Just take it like that. Let me put it this way, I can handle annoying bosses, financial challenges, irritating colleagues/classmates/roommates, dysfunctional laptops etc, because they’re a necessary part of my life.

Annoying boyfriend who just doesn’t get it? I can do without that. Yeah… I don’t see why chicks kill themselves over being single. I mean, I realised this week that I didn’t spend as much on credit, I had more free time, I didn’t have to update with anyone at the end of the day, and I had nothing on my mind but the important stuff. It’s great.

And here’s a tip to you guys out there: We REALLY don’t want to hear that much about your ex. No matter what we say. I don’t care if she was the cooking, cleaning, submissive 9th wonder of the world. If she was so perfect, you should have stayed with her.

This post is already too long. Damn. I wanted it to be short and mysterious… Ah well.


I Don’t Like You… Can’t You Tell?

I know I’ve written something similar before, and the way things are going, it would probably be safe to assume I have a problem with guys in general.

I don’t. Honest.

I’m just a young chick trying to go about her daily activities in relative peace. But then some … GUY will just pop into the picture and try to make my life a little bit more difficult.

What is it about many males out there that they can’t take blatant hints? And when you decide to drop the hints and be all out blunt, they still won’t listen? You see, this is how people start calling guys the ‘Simple sex’.

Why do guys simply not take ‘NO’ for answer? What life lesson have they been taught or what private lessons on picking up chicks did they go for that said, ‘If a girl says no, she’s FRONTING, try harder.’ *Eye roll*

So, I get into the office first thing Monday morning, cold and sleepy and doing my preliminary mail-check before starting my pre-work browsing (my slacking off is strangely well-organised). At the same time I was throwing some light make-up on i.e. lip gloss while listening to my Enya collection, when one of the company drivers suddenly appears at my side.

Me: *startled, seeing lips move, I take off my earphones* Good morning…
Him: Good morning.
He’s bent low so he’s almost eyeball to eyeball with me. All of a sudden, he sticks his phone in my face.
Him: Please could I have your number?
Me: WHY?! *I mean, I was pretty sure I knew why, bought I thought my horror would discourage him, my bad*
Him: Please, let me just have your number, I’ll tell you why.
Me: Er… no… Why don’t you just tell me now?
Him: I don’t want to start explaining now, I’ll call you later and explain.
Me: Look, I don’t –
Him: Just let me have it, I’ve been meaning to talk to you…
At that point, I realised I had vaguely noticed the guy minutes earlier when me and another colleague were trying to get into the office but the doors were locked.
Me: *getting a little impatient that this guy won’t go away, but not wishing to make the scene. I’m also a sucker* Um… okay…
I give him the number, and he writes his down on a paper, thanks me and hurries off. I also notice that the guy trailed me from the staff bus to my department. Tres creepy.
Later on, around ten, I get another call:
Him: hello.
Me: Oh. Right. It’s you.
Him: Yes. Look, I just wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you. I’ve been seeing you in the staff bus, and I’ve just been meaning to –
Me: *Rolling my eyes* I don’t believe you
Him: *surprised* Why?
Me: You don’t even know me. You’ve just been seeing me from afar and you’re in love?
Him: But… yes…
Me: Look, that’s not how it works.
Him: *Obviously experiencing some sort of denial* I can see that you don’t want to talk now, it’s because you don’t want your colleagues to hear, right?
Me: *Flabbergasted* WHAT?! No. Actually-
Him: *Cutting me off* Tell you what, I’ll call you later at night.
Me: I need my sleep.
Him: 10,11?
Me: Don’t-
Him: I’ll talk to you later then.


He never did call me back. Thank God. But now I see him everyday in the staff bus, and I avoid him like the plague. Sigh, that’s another annoying guy with my number.

Story #2
Vaguely annoying guy that was bugging me for a lunch date(go to towards the end)? I finally told him I didn’t want to do lunch, and I didn’t see him for days. Till Monday. Dude just came up to me after work, while I was waiting for the staff bus. I INTENTIONALLY plugged my eyes with Robin Thicke, but he decided he wanted to talk anyways.

Him: Hey, have you missed me?]
Me: Not much.
Him: So you missed me a bit then?
Me: Nope.
Him: Hm, and I thought I had made an impact on you.
Me: Not the kind you want.
Him: I like your skirt. I like short skirts. You have lovely skin.
Me: okkkkkaaaaaayyyy. Um, thanks. I guess.
Him: *Pensive, looking like a total perv* Yes… yes I do.
Silence. I quietly attempt to restart my song.
Him: What perfume do you wear?
Me: *Dear God* Davidoff.
Him: Davdo?
Me: Da-vi-doff.
Him: Spell it.
Me: David and off.
Him: *Obviously has no clue what I mean. Nods.* hm, I like the way you smell. Ery mild.
Me: Thanks. Was a gift from my BOYFRIEND.
Him: *Practising selective hearing* Maybe we could sit together on the bus and watch ‘Fracture’ off your ipod. Hm? What re you doing this weekend?
Me: I want to listen to music.
Him: Why now?
Me: Cos I want to.
We get in the bus, and he sits next to me. I ignore him. He starts leaning towards me. I still ignore him. And wish he would just GO AWAY. He doesn’t.

What is you people’s problem? What? Must a girl be rude? Why can’t you know when to walk away????

All Ye Females : Why Do We Give Them More to feel Important About?

I admit, I was expecting the guys to have more to say in their defence. To be able to argue for their existence. Ah well. Guess not. I see I’ve been accused of generalizing, but no one could ever NOT say that what I was saying didn’t apply. I’m not stereotyping, I’m talking from experience. Even the nicest guys have that weakness. I’m not saying they’re bad people. They’re just… not totally useful. 🙂

Anyway, returning from partially good weekend, 4 more days of work to endure… I bring to the world my next provocative question:

What’s that about? Why do people tend to act like a guy is the only tangible accomplishment we can ever make? And why do we encourage it?

Disclaimer: Now, before you think I’m going on some man-hating, feminist rant, let me get one thing straight. I don’t hate guys; most of my greatest friends are guys. In terms of attitudes they’re more laidback than chicks, and make better friends (when they aren’t trying to get you in the sack).They make good playthings too. But when it all comes down to it, I don’t see their point. Also, everything I write here is based on my theories and observations and no-one else’s, so none of that ‘prove it’ stuff.

And don’t act like you don’t. God knows, on a daily basis, we’re constantly being nagged and reminded of how we belong in a kitchen, warming some guy’s bed, or becoming a baby-vending machine is the main point of our existence and if you’re single, whether you’re 18 or 28, you tend to get looks like you said you’re … a 50 yr old spinster with only cats for company.

If I had 50 bucks for each time since I graduated that I’ve been asked when I’m getting married, I’d have enough to go for master’s (ok, maybe not, maybe I’ll just be able to buy a new laptop) which oddly enough, no-one outside my age group hasn’t asked about.

I read through a couple of blogs today and some of them spoke my mind. One time in school, a classmate made a sort-of derogatory comment to me because I didn’t have a boyfriend, ‘Don’t mind her, she’s just being that way because she didn’t answer all the guys when they were coming up to her, and now it’s too late.’
Shio. By too late, she was referring to the fact that I was 19, in 400 level and as far as she was concerned, an old maid. All this cos I didn’t read someone’s valentine message in a ‘romantic’ manner. Okkaayyyy…

All the harassment however, just made me more determined not to care. Because quite frankly, I’ve seen one too many chicks lose their minds over their lack of a guy. Here are a few typical complaints:

1. Oh, how I wish I had a guy to buy me…
2. Oh, woes me, I need a guy to be driving me to..
3. Oh, why don’t I have a guy to take me out?
4. Oh, I wish a guy to snog…
5. Oh, my life is a shamble, I wish I had a guy to Val me…
6. I need money. I need a guy in my life.

WHAT?! I hardly hear a sensible whine, like, needing a guy for companionship purposes… I could even FORGIVE the snog part. But waiting for the dark knight that’ll come along in his shiny new BMW with a fat wallet and a thick head is ATROCIOUS. Why can’t you go out on your own? Why can’t you go out, and make your own money? Woman, WhY OH WHY do you need to have a Val’s gift???

Guys, unfortunately, know this. They know that 8 out of 10 girls are so obsessed with what a guy can do for them that they begin to feel important. They know that come a few years, no-one’s gonna tell them they’re getting too old to marry. Which once again, brings me to the whole guy coming up and thinking they can impress you with their accomplishments. A guy I thought was kinda cute (I think I was sleepy at the time) on camp, got to talking with me, and then he felt it necessary to tell me about his ‘business’ and how he would have made his first million in a couple of weeks. I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes.The arrogance of it all. Another annoying one is where a guy I was actually kinda close to was throwing himself at me and acting like he was doing me a favour because I didn’t have a guy in my life. The nerve. I forgave him for his momentary foolishness.

Anyway, that said. I’m not generalizing. But there are just men out there who know all they need to do is flash and there’ll be those chicks that’ll kill themselves with greed. Let’s stop making these boys feel important, shall we? I know working-class ladies that will rather squander their salaries on expensive clothes and make-up, and wait for a guy to buy the important stuff. Stop being so shallow. Let’s try to be independent for a bit… just a bit. Try.

All Ye Males – What R U Good For? REALLY?

This might seem to be an odd post from me, considering as I’m newly attached and loving it. But lately though, due to excessive thinking and brooding over certain issues, as well as reading a few things here and there, I have to ask:

What’s the point of guys? Really?

Disclaimer: Now, before you think I’m going on some man-hating, feminist rant, let me get one thing straight. I don’t hate guys; most of my greatest friends are guys. In terms of attitudes they’re more laid back than chicks, and make better friends (when they aren’t trying to get you in the sack).They make good playthings too. But when it all comes down to it, I don’t see their point. Also, everything I write here is based on my theories and observations and no-one else’s, so none of that ‘prove it’ stuff. I’m on a roll here, bear with me.

As Bus asked the other day, beyond the whole ‘populating the earth’ thing, what function do they serve? Most guys – despite the whole ‘macho’, opening the tight jar of whatever, and the biceps – are really just big babies with raging hormones. No offense. Look at it. Practically every guy grows in life craving two things:

Sex and food. And sports to kill the time between getting the sex and eating the food.

I dare any guy to deny it. And don’t even mention money. Money is a means to an end. More money buys more food, gets more girls, buys bigger tvs to watch sports and soothes their fragile egos. Because men like to brag. I can’t describe my irritation for a guy who comes up to me and expects me to care that they just bought a new jeep.

Men, on the other hand, especially Nigerian men, tend to act like they’re well and totally useless without a chick. Oh, can’t wait to marry so I’ll have dinner… oh, can’t wait to get a girl that will help me tidy this place… Oh can’t wait for a girl to this and that…

What? For all the stronger sex crap we have to put up with, you can’t get off your lazy butt and make dinner? Are your hands psychologically tuned to NOT know how to work a spoon unless it’s carrying something TOWARDS your mouth? Is there some magical, complex equation involved in boiling… say, rice? Is there some superstition I don’t know about where you innards shrivel up and die if you make an effort to tidy your room?

I’m quite sure there isn’t. But let me not generalize. I’ll instead blame our society and the upbringing that lets males believe they never really have to make an effort to do anything when there’s a female present.

Yes. I’m going to be a shock to my eventual husband.

But anyway, I digress. Males also tend to act like they’ll suddenly start sprouting sores and lesions if they go say, a week without getting laid. Maybe it’s a young-ish guy thing. Maybe not. Let’s face it. It’s scientifically proven. NOTHING will happen if you don’t have sex for even a YEAR. So let’s stop all this junkie-like obsession, shall we?

Moving on though. What do we as females, need them for? REALLY? Beyond the whole procreation thing? Not much really. I mean, for the really shallow/dependent/old-fashioned types, there’s that whole ‘security’ hoopla: “Oh, a guy would provide me with financial/emotional/physical security”.

Not these days, princess. These days when women work and make great pay, it irks me to hear SUCH women making such comments. Or even the WINNER: I can’t buy *insert pricey but long-wanted item here* with my own money, I’ll tell my boyfriend to buy it for me.


If there were no men, we’d technically have fewer armed robbers, rapists and murderers (see where I’m going here?). So TECHNICALLY, the whole physical security thing would be immaterial. Besides, as they’re here now, I’m not strolling out on the streets at 10pm. And don’t even get me started on the emotional security thing. Can someone say ‘No more drama’?

So…What do we need them for??? What??? Assuming, there were no guys, and there was some Last Man on Planet Earth stuff going on… I think we’d do just nicely. No football, no ‘ball’ anything, no mindless love triangles, no emotional heartbreak… Please, feel free to prove me wrong.

*Taking deep breath* We don’t need them as much we’re being made to believe we do. Which brings to me the topic of the next post and 2nd part of the 3-part study on ye males: Why Do We Give Guys More to feel Important About?

P.S. Guys, you know it’s all love.

Oh, You’re One of THOSE Guys.

Tempted as I was to complain about a certain set of people in my office, I won’t, cos I have realized how easy it is to find this blog. I don’t want wahala.

Instead I will highlight on a certain comment that I’ve heard twice since starting work here 3 months ago, and that’s 2 times too many:

‘Hm, I can’t wait till I marry, so I’ll always have dinner waiting for me…’


Do guys like this still walk the streets of Lagos? Call me ‘a feminist’, call me ‘aggressive’, call me ‘anti-submissive’, and if you’re cute, just call me. But this is one topic where I get very defensive very quickly. The most recent of this was said by the new guy I work with. Now, let’s face it, considering where I work, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a chick that will lay her life down just so some guy can have dinner. The instant the words came out of his mouth, everywoman in a 10-foot radius shot him dark, dirty looks. He didn’t notice.

I came out of my earphone-powered world, and said to him, unable to hide my irritation, ‘Oh, you’re one of THOSE guys.’

He proceeded to argue with me about it, saying it was a woman’s job to cook and clean and the entire chauvinistic BS… and I calmly told him it wasn’t HER JOB. She wasn’t born to be a glorified house help. He proceeded to do that other annoying thing and all on the Bible. I told him to pinpoint the Chapter and verse, and he looked aghast, and was unable to do so. I told him he, like any men before him, have decided to see what they want to see when it came to the Good Book.

He then irritated me further, saying, ‘All you modern women, sef, I can’t even let my wife work like this (by this he meant us).’ I rolled my eyes. ‘So, what are you saying, just because you want ur glorified house help to be home when you get back, she won’t work?’

Finally, obviously not wanting to say anything, but hearing the blasphemy that was coming out of his mouth, the other chick I worked with called him aside quietly, and I heard her tell him he’s asking for trouble if he wants to enter a marriage with that mindset. I mumbled that he’d be lucky if a chick MARRIED him with that mindset.

Frankly, I think too many guys are brought up with this ridiculous idea of exaggerated superiority. Ok, sure he’s the ‘man of the house’, WHATEVER. But if you think that just because you happen to have been born A GUY, then the world should be laid at your feet, let ME tell YOU to wake up from your deep SLUMBER. I honestly believe no guy has the right to tell ME not to work, so his ego won’t be deflated either by a) me making more money; or b) you having to make a meal or two for yourself.

If you want someone that will do nothing but cook, clean and stay home all day as a human baby-vending machine… well… GET A MAID.

We’ve all come too far in this world to still be weighing ourselves down with these silly and ridiculous rules. Marriage should be a partnership, nothing else. ‘My wife cannot do this or that’ has to stop. Let’s get married for all the right reasons, abeg. Any one can cook and clean, man. Your wife should be your friend; you should have considerations for her aspirations. No-one is saying she won’t be a home-maker, but that is not what she was BORN to do.

You guys really need to get over yourselves. Seriously.

Once Upon A Fling

It could be considered a compliment. If I was, you know, desperate or something.

An old flame recently re-offered himself to me and it got me thinking. I admit I saw it coming… He at least had the decency to lay out a week long preamble before trying. It was once faintly tempting ( I am human after all), but…looking at it from a moral and historical background… No. Unfortunately it’s an offer I’ve had one time too many. I could probably go all sentimental but I KNOW there’s nothing wrong me – unless being a  young, moderately attractive talent is a problem – so I’m not even gonna go there.

And it made me wonder. Another old flame who I stopped hanging out with because of the whole fling foolishness, came back towards our graduation and asked AGAIN. He tried to hide it under the guise of “Oh, it’s our last time together, let’s give this relationship another shot.” Right. The guy was a pathological liar, and I didn’t believe him for a second. It was amusing however, to watch him attempt to corner me in abandoned corridors with those lines. Finally, bored, I gave him the boot.

I’ve also started up conversations with guys, who try to ask me casually (and fail) what I feel about it.

Contrary to any impression I might be or have been giving, let me say, NO, I don’t do flings. They’re a waste of my emotional energy, and for those with actual partners, it’s just wrong. I am not the OTHER woman. All y’all should get off my case.

Unless you’re Justin Timberlake. Or Craig David. Or Chris Evans. In which case I’d do just about anything. 🙂 (*Call me*)

Hellish Stuff

I left my house at 5.30 this morning. Why? Cos of those dam rats! The instant i stepped into my room last night, there it was, ruing of the window in front my bed. I did nothing. Instead, I picked up the bag I dropped and walked out the way I came. My sis and I seriously contemplated telling my dad. But he was being his usual, charming self, complaining about pointless things, and succeeded in pissing us off. You know there’s something wrong if you can’t tell ur father there are creatures living with you cos he won’t be of any use. Sleeping last night was not enjoyable. I had to wrap my feet, and my eyes kept popping open.

I had a dream I got a free laptop and was left home alone. Only for my ‘boyfriend’ to turn up being some cute but annoyingly smiley blond guy(????). Signs of the times?

Anyway, I left early this morning cos D’s not going to work today. I haven’t followed him since Monday cs he didn’t have “fuel”, instead he followed his dad. I’ve already mocked/insulted him sufficiently for that.

But, lo, our staff bus… 3 of them, zoomed past me as I stood at what I was told was the rendezvous point, despite my fanatical waving and looks of desperation. I was seriously considering taking PT, but then this guy stops in front of me. Some middle-aged police officer (STALKER) that lives around me, who (for some reason) I keep jamming, and who I also found to my horror, works as part of the security at my bank.

But I entered.

Cos I’m retarded. It was only about twenty minutes, but it felt like YEARS. He did the usual. Misyanned, asked for my number (of which I gave my old no that’s probably been barred by Celtel), told me how the first day he saw me… you know the rest. But the red light went up when he tried to take my hand. I recoiled so quickly he reversed the action. I stayed in that position till I got to work.

Needless to say I almost flew out before the car stopped. He was acting hurt, asking if I was married (that question has become disturbingly common these days), if not, wasn’t he man enough??? Oh, the revulsion.

I guess I don’t need to say I’ve sworn to not enter the cars of stalkers. These are the moments when I appreciate following D ever so much, even he has his own pervy moments.

At least I can swat him.

Thursday Morning Dramedy

Mulling over with: Old-New songs

Hmm, it’s been a bit. Or 2 days. Which in my books, theses days, refers to a while. I actually felt like writing about something yesterday, but the mood passed. As did the topic. I honestly couldn’t remember what I wanted to talk about.

Anyway, this morning I finished what’s slowly coming a daily routine: A breakfast of tea with some sandwich a la weird veggie surprise. It’s not even slightly filling, and it costs too much to buy loads of everyday, and I’m not a fan of cucumbers (or anything veggie-related, really), but I can say I’m eating ‘healthy’. Or not. Mayonnaise/salad cream isn’t healthy, is it? Ironic, really, cos I don’t like mayonnaise either…
It’s been a dull week at work, except for the daily compliments about my hair. From mostly guys. I’ve found that most guys love long hair (and this hair wins the touch-my-butt length award), even if its not yours. Or maybe it’s just the guys here. Or maybe I’m just so gorgeous. I’m okay with any of the theories.

The women on the other hand, well, only a handful have actually asked/commented about it. They seem to prefer giving me odd glances or dirty looks or commenting behind my back. I don’t know if it’s shyness or beef. But I actually like the dirty looks. It’s fun to get, especially when you’re dead sure that you didn’t do anything wrong. Women are strange like that. I admit it, I’ve done it a few times, hated on someone just cos they look SO GOOD. It’s just like, “DAMMIT, what have THEY got that I haven’t?’ It’s nice to be on the other end for a change.

Ventured to Insurance today cos I wanted to get my old-new songs from my former system. I only go there on the days I’m wearing flats, cos the truth is, it’s too short to go by bike, but too long to truly walk if ur wearing heels and a suit. On my way out, one of the security guys told me I wasn’t supposed to be using the front entrance with the revolving doors. I think I hid my incredulity well, behind my usual, award-winning smile.
Security: Excuse me, are you going to the vault?
Me: Huh?
Security: Well, in that case, you’re not supposed to be passing through the front.
Me: Huh?
Security: It’s only for customers.
Me: But where I’m going is IN the front, going through the back is long journey.
Security: Sorry, orders from the MD.
Awkward silence.
Me: Right. Noted. So can I pass now?
Security: Yeah, I’m just telling you just in case they harass you at the gate.

As if. They’re guys are they not? Always suckers. I think it’s foolish to banish ur staff to the back door, but that’s for another day.

Actually I wanted to go to my local government to sign my CD (Community development) card. THAT took forever. The woman was lamenting bitterly along with the other field officers about how people didn’t come on time to do their clearance, and how the NYSC secretariat was blaming them for the tardiness. It took about 20 minutes before I was answered, and then because government workers (and school authority figures) are just TOTALLY incapable of multi-tasking i.e. talking and writing at the same time, when she FINALLY did answer me, there were these 2-3 minute pauses between signatures. And I needed about 12 (I have been very unserious about it). She was being difficult, and refused to sign many spaces. Cow.

At insurance, as usual, only the guys seemed willing to comment about my hair. The one comment from a woman was, “Na wa for your hair o!”. Tart. Life Guy (who, let’s not forget last time I saw him) was being weird, and I mostly ignored him. He , however, didn’t let me succeed.
“Oh, you put on weight!” was his first, second and third line. Ah, I see he hasn’t lost his “tact”. As I was about to leave he tried to peck me, but I dodged quite smoothly; a skill honed by having several pervs as male friends :).

Let’s Stay Together

So, apparently, I’m still the bad guy in the little he said-she said tiff I mentioned on Monday. The friend has refused to call me back. Not that I’ve been trying. I take this to mean we’re not talking then, because I’m a “betrayer”. Right. I admit I’m being the proud one, but dammit I deserve it. So far, in my group of friends, I have 2 people on my side. Kinda.
Hate to say it, but I feel really proud of myself that I’m not really at fault. It makes me feel less silly about “not talking”.

I find this situation vaguely reminiscent of Secondary School, when I stopped talking to a classmate for about… a whole school year, i think, because of a really, REALLY STUPID reason. She made a joke about me and a guy, but I wasn’t amused, and she got angry, and said something I can’t remember. And that was it. One of her parting shots was…”in fact, give me my mags back”, and the best I could do was, “Yeah? Well, give me my stuff back too!”. Tres mature.
We started talking again in SS3, on some random day during lunch break. It would have ended sooner if not for the pride thing, I guess. And it was quite embarassing making up in front of everyone.

One of my friends threatened that she would be forced to play “Mum”, and get us to sort things out during a conference call or something. I’m willing, but I doubt she will.
I’ve got bigger issues on my mind, man. I had a prospective client for a website, but he was SO ambitious with his requests that I couldn’t do it. It was NOT a one-man job. In anyway. I would probably spend a year at it. I had another one, but he OBVIOUSLY wasn’t serious about it, and well, neither was I.

Still trying to design my business card. I’ve decided to give myself a deadline. Six p.m today, I must have come up with a logo and a name. I already have a name, but I’m still confused. Still on that quest for perfection, me.

My sister just bought a new laptop (AND ipod, i HATE her), so me, being the nice sister I am, decided to go back to Insurance to get the docs from my old hard disk which was with someone there. It was a bitof an event. Everyone was so warm, so adoring. On my way out, Life Guy (remember him? Suspiciously-friendly-new guy?) followed me, and without even the slightest bashfulness, said he LIKED me. Maybe because he was so to-the-point, the alarm bells didn’t go off in my head. Or maybe it’s cos I already knew. He started telling me why. Said he liked my composure, and the way I handled situations (bless), and so on… Alas, all I could do was smile, and nod, and say “okkk”. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t surprised, but it seemed silly. He then said we should hang out sometime, and I nodded, before leaving. Hmmm. Yet another one for the list. He’s not half-bad, but … no. I know, he’s a subtle man-whore (yes, i SAID it).
My new boss, some funny guy, said he was going to try and hook me up with every good guy he knew in that bank. Oh dear. I don’t know why marriage is on everyone’s mind.

Speaking of which, a former classmate pulled me to a wedding going on in my estate. We didn’t know them, but the grom was quite good-looking (event though he looked 40) and we all wanted to see the bride who people couldn’t stop describing as, well, “disturbingly unattractive”. To put it lightly. I didn’t. Instead both of us got dragged (as young, single, gorgeous babes that we are) to dance along on her train, cos they thought it would be intelligent to do the traditional marriage DURING the reception. Talk about AWKWARD. We were both smiling stiffly, our bodies tensely moving left to right as we plotted our escape from the embarassment.
Ah, life.