Totally Biased, Opinionated, Hard-To-Please Movie Goer’s Review – Iron Man

So, it’s another year of summer movies, and you know what THAT means… I’m gonna see ’em all!!!

Ok, well, not all. But most. Iron Man was the first of the lot, so here goes my:

TOTALLY BIASED, OPINIONATED, HARD-TO-PLEASE MOVIE GOER’S REVIEW:

I know, you’ve all seen it now…. but I still get to say…Iron Man totally rocked. I mean, I’d been hearing all the hype, and everyone and their mum said they loved it, so I kinda had to believe it. The trailer also looked great. Robert Downey, Jr TOTALLY made that role. He was extremely witty and I loved the attitude. The jokes didn’t suck either. I have no complaints. I was tripped countless times, and the gadgets … O. M. G. My friend K, who I watched it with, was nice enough to remind me most of it was fake. But whatever. I so want his lab for my next birthday present.
Dancing Chicken rating:

out of 5

And for all y’all who aren’t sure what other great stuff is coming for you (and you’re too lazy to Google it), take a looksee: http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/01/10/official-guide-to-the-summer-of-2008/.

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix

Sorry this is late. I blame it on a flukey bad internet and NYSC.

Anyway, this is one of the last sequels I have to watch for the year, and by this point, as you can expect, I’m very jaded about all of them. I went in with this mindset to watch this movie – one I’ve had since I started reading the books and I realized they were BUTCHERING the films – the film will be a brief, badly put together, not so great summary of the book.

But I admit. This one didn’t SUCK. I can honestly say it’s the best they’ve ever done. B and I found ourselves saying, “That’s Hot”, Paris Hilton style, all movie long. Sure, they butchered the book as usual, but they butchered it well, and I found that there was truly a lot of details from it I could live without.

Effect-wise, it was BRILLIANT. Even the broom-flying scenes didn’t have that sucky quality of the first 2 films. The Thestrals that pulled the carriages were sufficiently ugly, and the ending fight scene between Voldie and Dumbledore was HOT. Even K, fantasy cynic that he is, had to say it was so cool it was sexy.

Acting-wise, I have to give a little kudos to Daniel Radcliffe. His acting was quite good in this one (for that, I’ll forgive him for that.. that.. HAIRCUT). So much so that he even managed to touch a nerve when he was having his weird, spaz out, my-life-is-truly-so-miserable scene near the end. We were all like, aww… For reasons I cant place, Neville looked HUGE. And Luna Lovegood was played quite well. Hermione was over-emotional as usual, and am I the only one that saw the SEVERE chemistry between the two (i.e. Ron & Hermione) all movie long??? JK should have put THAT in the book. After 3 movies they finally decided to put a sprinkling of the Ginny crush in, but it was a very don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it kinda thing.

Off the point for a moment, B and I also found ourselves checking out many of the guys in the film. Namely Ron and his twin brothers. Harry, however, well… nuff said.

In short, the film was pretty good if you aren’t a sucker for detail (and even if you are, like me, it’ll most likely rock). Am glad they finally got it right. Now it’s just the wait for the new book…

Rating: 9/10

Shrek the Third

Yeah, so this is like, TOTALLY late, and I’m sure by now, most people have watched Shrek3. But I believe my opinion is still importanto anyway.

So, I had high hopes for this installment, but it seems ’tis the year for under-achievement. Now, don’t get me wrong, Shrek, was as usual, witty and refreshingly different, but it seems the writers just didn’t seem to know what to do next with all the characters (and they were many) somehow.

Honestly, as a Justin Timberlake LOVER, I was just waiting to see what magical role my love would be making the film, and I was not to be disappointed. It wasn’t so much his role as a whole, but his general relations with Shrek e.g. “Help, I’ve been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me!”. I also liked the whole medieval high school disaster. Totally didn’t see that coming.

Also, I was rather surprised by how cute Baby Shrek was. Who’d have thunk it? Also Fiona’s father’s last minutes were more amusing than sad. However, I I didn’t quite feel Donkey’s and Puss’s impacts on the movie, or the Queen, who I felt were just re-cast out of continuity than any real purpose. Charming, was whiny as always, and his end was a little weird.

Towards the ending, I just couldn’t help feeling like something was missing. But it was mostly great, nice jokes and innuendos, and the whole series was a celebration of a very creative mind. Go see it, if you haven’t. But like Spiderman, Fantastic Four and the rest, I think it’s time for all these sequels to rest before they get old.

Rating: 8/10

Fantastic Four: Rise Of the Silver Surfer

So, it’s a bit late, I know. My schedule’s been of the chain lately,and I haven’t had the time to watch anything. But I was hell-bent and last night D and I defied all the odds (including the crazy mad fluke traffic after work and our poor timing) and went to go to see it. To be honest i really wanted to see Ocean’s 1, but it was too late at night.

Anyway, here’s a quickie verdict. It was just there. Not great, not FANTASTIC, just there. I became shockingly aware of some of the really bad acting by Jessica Alba and the husband whose name I do not know and can’t be bothered to Google. There really wasn’t that much of a story line, and Silver Surfer, for all of his glossy , metallic glory, was a bit unenthusiastic.

As is the case these days with all these action/superhero movies, it seems the director was more concerned in the special effects and awe-striking trickery than anything else. Cos I can’t fault the effects. Especially when the human torch and SS were getting it on. Oh, and when he was fighting Von Doom.

Which brings me to another issue. Doom was acting like he didn’t want to be in the movie, and spent most of the time standing in the background, wearing black and looking sinister. His end was tres anti climatic, so much so that I didn’t know I had seen the last of him, till I never saw him again.

But, bless, Johnny was there to provide comic relief (and eye candy), and one of his best lines was when he made fun of Ben and his girlfriend just before the wedding. I won’t spoil it and tell you, but it involved the word ‘rockslide’. Another good scene was when he stepped out of the shower… for oh-so-many reasons…:)

Anyway, it was alright, but I wish I really had just waited to watch it on DVD, and channeled my cash towards something more inspiring, like hopefully Ocean’s 13. I don’t know about Transformers. I’m already funny things about it, but we’ll see.

Rating: 6/10

Pirates of The Carribean 3 Review

So, in my quest to watch every block buster this year, I present my review for PoC3. I’m not a critic, so I’m not going to lay the film down bit by bit, but in advance, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

So, I was pretty excited, but not too much, considering how i was a teensy bit disappointed by Part 2. It was pretty good, a bit more comedy, a few more odd bits and bobs, what with EVERYONE having an agenda in this instalment. I kinda hoped Will would just FORGET about his soggy father, but well, c’est la vie. There were some awesome sequences too, like the whirlpool fight scene, the whole Black Pearl being carried by white crabs and the slow motion cinematography surrounding Will and Elizabeth’s “wedding” and Beckett’s almost noble death. Oh, and the UP IS DOWN bit where the boat turn over? Lovely.

HOWEVER, I had a HUGE problem with the ending. I mean, what’s with the crappy sequel endings?????? First of all, James died. I was like NOOOOOOOO. I liked him!!!! He didn’t die too well either! Then, Will dying. Just like 15 minutes after they got hitched. I was vexed. I don’t care that he became the new Dutchman captain. In fact, that’s what pissed me off more! He only gets to see Elizabeth for one day every TEN YEARS. Seeing her just standing on some random shore, watching him disappear pulled at my heartstrings.

Then, Jack lost his ship?? And Barbosa got it? What??? Half the cast died, and the rest didn’t quite have a happy ending. It was very unsatisfactory I must say.

FINE BOY :))))

I must admit, seeing Orlando Bloom (FINE BOY) turn around in his new Dutchman captain’s gear was rather hot. And up till that ending, I was quite amused.Seeing Jack talk to his many selves, and the Pirate Lords’ Meeting was a cute touch.

I’d give it a 7/10. It was well done, nice sequence, a bit complicated in storyline but great. A good return from the 2nd one. I’d see it again too, but not soon, let me get over my misery.

Spider-Man 3

So, I finally saw Spider-Man 3. I didn’t get my hopes up before I watched it, so I wouldn’t get disappointed. Good idea on my part. I’ve never seen the hype around the Spiderman movies. I wasn’t all too chuffed about Tobey Maguire, or him in skin tight lycra, or Kirsten Dunst, now we’re on it; I feel they could have gotten better actors for the part. In a nutshell though, the film got a little long-winded, I HATED the unnecessarily soppy ending(s?!), it BROKE MY HEART that the only fine boy in the movie died, and what happened to the Gwen Stacy character all of sudden??? We just never saw her again! And Peter Parker “bad”??? Bad, bad move. His “bad boy” hairstyle made him look, according to the friend that watched it with me, “like all those French guys that are trying to look American”. Then, later, we all agreed he looked more like some “goth pervert”. 🙂
And as for Tobey Maguire dancing? No. Just no.
At least they were realistic enough to show some women looking at him in disgust. Sorry.
Harry, whatever his real name is, is soooo fine. I never noticed before, but when he lost his memory and was all smiley, we were like, wow. So you can imagine OUR disappointment when HE hit the bucket. Mary Jane. Can someone say, “High maintenance”? She’s living proof that women are difficult.
I do however, have to give credit where credit is due. The effects were beautiful. And the fight scenes managed to be long without being boring. And they didn’t look too fake either. Other than which though, I won’t trip over myself to watch it again. It was nice, well done, an alright attempt. But please, no more.