This is a thought.

Money, Money, Money – It’s so Funny…

Yeah, so I went back on my pinky swear. I suck. Whatevs.

They never told us about this. It’s THEIR fault, darned older folks!

Ok… Maybe they did. But they didn’t say it SERIOUSLY enough. They said it in jest, and at the wrongest times, like when we weren’t paying enough attention, or listening, or when our minds were more occupied with getting the thing we asked for.

They never said that every other hour would be punctuated by a thought about money, or how much money you don’t have, or how much money you’re owing/being owed, or how much money you need to save to get commodity A or B.

Our parents DECEIVED us, I tell you. They never gave the ‘when you’re older you’ll realize how hard it is to get money’ with enough URGENCY and EMERGENCY. If they had, maybe I won’t be sinking into near hysteria right now. I would have cultivated the art of meditation and ‘woosah’-ing ahead of time, so when I did encounter these financial mishaps, I would channel my inner whatchucallit and taken all this better.

Okay, maybe I’m overstating it a bit. But really, I’m sick of thinking about money. And I’m barely starting my 20-ies. Yes, you can say it, I’m screwed. It’s all my fault, I should have taken my time in school, and postponed all this maturity business for a more convenient time.

My jalopy, drinking money like it was fuel, my upkeep i.e. groceries, clothes, and what-have you, the future, school… Sigh.

I’m not obsessed. God knows, if I had my way, I would just slot my ATM card anywhere I could and pay for whatever, whenever. But I can’t because I’m not crazy. I’ve got to be all quasi-organized and have lots of lists and plans and long-term, short-term goals that are driving me crazy because they’re not working.

Maybe I should follow the tide and get a filthy rich boyfriend. Or not.

There’s nothing more ridiculous/depressing than perpetually counting down till pay-day I tell you. And somehow, something tells me I won’t improve much if I had a higher paying job.

Basically, this has been a bad month for me in terms of money. My car has gone to the shop TWICE; its most recent trip is apparently going to set me back by 25 large. My rather expensive phone got stolen, and I simply can’t afford to get anything else, so I’m stuck using this crap, tired 3210 that has no ‘3’ button (texting is a trick I tell you), I knocked over a careless okada guy and had to placate him and the passenger with a few hundreds, a loan I applied for was never approved ( I think they actually lost the application, but I can’t kill myself), I renewed my internet subscription just to find the service was crap all last weekend, while my car was at the shop, someone stole my shoes (believe it or not) and 1500 bucks I had forgotten in the pigeon hole. The second part was carelessness on my part, so I couldn’t even tell my mum. Add to that the fact that for the first time this year, I’m broke before payday, you can imagine my agitation.

I’ve been out of it blog-wise, primarily because there are only a few things on my mind, one of them is what I lamented about above, the rest, I don’t think are internet-worthy. For now.

So, much as I hate to say it, I might not be as frequent a blogger as I used to be. I think I’ve done all the complaining I can do for a while, but who knows. Maybe the spirit will hit me. I dunno. Just don’t be surprised if there are post-droughts.

It’s going to get better, I guess. God will provide.

I’ll Be Back Tomorrow. Pinky Swear

Cos gosh darn it, i have a lot of things on my mind. And it’s time the world knew about it.

My Jallopy Sucks.

So, I think deep down I knew my car was a tragedy waiting to happen, but I consoled myself with the fact that it was functional and I went from Point A to Point B reasonably comfortable.

Yesterday, however, I could tempt fate no longer. I already had a front bumper that dislodged at the worst moments, and a shaft that was nice enough to clear its throat for my attention every time I turned a corner or climbed a bridge. I mentioned these things to my dad, who had made a point of warning me when I first started driving the car that if it ever had any trouble, I should call him and no-one else, or I could get ripped off. He seemed very nonchalant, and seemed more concerned with whether the car moved well or not.

Yesterday morning, I attempted to start the car… and it died almost instantly. Hm, fair enough, it’s done that before, and when I complained, no-one took me seriously. My dad and his driver had acted like I was being paranoid.

I turn the key again; it comes on… and dies. I found that the trick was to rev it as soon as I started it, and gently stroke the engine with tiny caresses of my foot on the accelerator till it warmed enough for me to move it. And after all, it was ok once I got moving, right? But as my sis and I sailed along towards work, I couldn’t help feeling like something was not right. That nagging voice kept bugging me in my head. At a point, before we drove out of the compound, I actually contemplated bussing it to work. All is manageable, and then somewhere on Third Mainland bridge I start getting that horrible feeling again. And I keep hearing noises.

Turns out my paranoia was half right. Towards the end I notice a couple of people point towards the front of my car. My bumper had slipped off on one side again. We park, fix it. And I think, no big, I’m going to get that done on Thursday. The rest of the trip is uneventful. I get to work, and my seatbelt’s gone and stained my lovely sky-blue shirt. GRRR. Also, I’ve acquired a nice big dirt spot on my trousers that won’t be brushed off.

Irritable, I go about my day, not really paying attention to what I was doing, feeling down and unlike myself. I just wanted the day to end. Come after 8, I leave my office and start my car. It does that crap again. This time, I have to actually force the car to move before it was warm to keep it on. Every corner that I had to slow down and turn, the car would hiccup and begin to die, but I would accelerate it hard and it would recover. My sister wasted 20 minutes of my life in her office’s parking lot, with each second, my fear about the car steadily increasing. I was already 100% sure I wasn’t driving it again that week.

We get going, and I’m thinking to myself, ‘God, please let us get home, I don’t feel good about this.’ Guess not. We were almost on our way out of VI, and for the first time ever I saw traffic climbing a bridge towards CMS. I ignored my instincts for the millionth time that day and climbed the bridge instead of going under it. The car couldn’t make it. Especially as there was slow-moving traffic climbing. It died. And nothing I did worked. We were stuck. I hit the handbrake so we wouldn’t slide backwards, which meant I couldn’t rev the car to move.

About 10-minutes later, a couple of good Samaritans, 2 guys, stop and try to help. I was apprehensive, but they proved over and over again that they were sincere. Asked me to hold their keys while they tried to start my car. Unable to, they finally helped us push it back off the bridge and into the Ecobank head office close by where my sister had begged the security to let us park. The guys drive us to somewhere where we could get a cab. An over-priced one. But it was almost 10pm, we were tired and desperate. The taxi guy burned more of our time by going to queue for fuel.

Think that was the end? Pfft. We entered traffic. Serious crazy traffic. We didn’t get home till 11.20pm. By this time, I was fatigued and hungry, but all I wanted was bed. Guess what? I forgot the key to our side of the house in the car. My dad, once again, showed no real concern for our predicament(s). I didn’t even bother calling my mum, she would have flipped. So we jack the door, ruining the wall near it. I slept at midnight.

This morning, my alarm went off. And I ignored it. I got to work late. My car is still wasting away in Ecobank’s parking lot. I have no idea how to move it. I suddenly resent that vehicle. A lot. It’s like, a million years old. Why am I driving it?

Anyone willing to dash me a car, I won’t say no. Offers are now open.

Er..

I havent updated in a bit. I know. I suck. It’s not my fault. I barely have time nowadays to think, talk of blogging…. as I write this, I’m simultaneously shutting down my other programs and planning my escape strategy. I’m crazy busy. Gawd, I hate 9-5.

The Invaid’s Ramble

Feel ill. Feeel weak. Can’t think. Hungry. Everywhere hurts. And I just want to go home. I’m suffering from fatigue and just need a few days… just a few days…

8 More Weird Facts About Me

Before I get to my post of the day, I’d apparently been tagged by 30+ to say ‘8 weird things’ about my self ages ago, but i procrastinated, oops! I’ve done this before, but I’ll try and rustle up 8 more…

1. I hate mushiness. Can’t take it. Flowers, getting down on one knee, public display of affection, while all cute in their own right, turn me into an embarrassed, irritated mess. Don’t do it. Just. Don’t.
2. I have a tiny, little thing for nerdy looking guys, especially those with glasses *cough* Darkman *cough*.
3. I’m blind in my left eye. In fact, I have no left eye. Gone. In my optometrist’s file for me, they even write ‘Clean socket’ under ‘Left’. Don’t worry, there’s a prosthetic in there that I can pop out (it’s my party trick, 🙂 )
4. I’m always eating my lips. Either I’m gnawing the upper one from the inside, or the lower one on the out. Been doing it since I was a kid, and they give my face a funny look.
5. I wanted to be an actress for 5 years, then realised I was too shy to do so. I wanted to be a singer too… I can’t sing.
6. I have a FLAT left thumb. Mainly cos I sucked my thumb for years after I should have stopped.(Won’t say how long!)
7. No-one likes my taste in music. That’s how weird it is. I’ll have all the artists people know, but all their obscure songs.
8. I draw things in the air with my fingers. As in, all the time. They come out so much better when I can’t see them!

Okay, that’s it… Don’t have anyone in mind to tag!

It’s 2008!

First post of the year! W00t! I took my time in coming to work this morning. Why? No reason, I was just a little hurt about the fact that I had to be at work at all, and thus, decided to reminisce on the days when I worked just a N20 bus away, and I still resumed at 9. Times have changed. However, then, I was still in school, and was earning a paltry N9,750 – which was big bucks to a student on IT.

Now, as Darkman quite rightly put it, we’re WORKING for our higher pays. 6-hour sleep nights, an average of 12 hours work a day, and perpetual headaches.

The rest of Lagos is obviously still out of town or snoozing cos it took me under 45 minutes to get to VI, which NEVER happens around 7am. And that’s only because I took transport.

New Year was refreshingly different this year. I didn’t spend it at home. Probably not very family-oriented of me, but we had made plans to go out very early on the 1st, and there was no way I would have made it from Agbara in time. Without losing sleep. On what is probably the last official day off I’ll have for a while. My dad, as usual, thought I was up to no good. But this time around, I won the battle. I spent the last day of the year with the people that have made me happiest this year, namely Darkman and Bus (formerly Bubu) , Viva and their family. Their (that is, Bus and Viva) parents now refer to me as part of the family, which is an indication of how much time I’ve spent in that house. I stopped being a guest a long time ago. I come in and their mum remarks that if I go 2 weeks without showing up I’ll fall ill. She’s also sorta threatened me that if their surname is not appended to mine on my wedding IV, she won’t show up…

Anyway, had an impromptu date with Darkman where we gallivanted VI, then ended up (finally) watching ‘I Am Legend’. Which was a brilliant movie… up to the kinda crappy ending. Bus suddenly showed up and saw me during the movie, and was ‘nice’ enough to send me a text that I was … well. You know. It was a happy accident though, cos she convinced me to stay over for New Year’s Eve as opposed to staying on my own with no TV at Anthony. As is always the case at Silverbird, we jammed at least 3 people we knew, discussed New Year stuff and went to Bus’s where I crashed till near midnight.

Then the whole family got together for a prayer session, after which we went outside to blow fireworks, woohoo! I ushered in the new year with Darkman, on the phone, cos according to him, when I called it was still 2 minutes to 12…One of the fireworks missed though, and flew into the neighbours compound. Oops. Once THAT was done, we went in to toast to champagne (tastes awful), before moving on to my new favourite drink EVER, Boone’s Farm Wine. It’s the sweetest way to get drunk. And one of the cheapest. At 500 bucks a pop, it’s a bargain. Unfortunately I don’t think my tum was ready for the eclectic mix of champagne, boone’s and spicy chicken.

I was very unloved. Beyond a call from Terry, my phone was quiet. I didn’t care too much about this though, and I hit the sack before 1am.

New Year, we were supposed to get up early to go out for some carnival thingy, but I found it hard to open my eyes, and by the time we got to Shoprite, we had lost all the expected passengers, our zeal, and decided to pop in instead for a chippy breakfast. After which we went to church and went home to sleep. Bus was upset that we didn’t do something exciting, and I told her she thought way too hard about having fun, which was why she was bummed when she didn’t have it. Got a call from Darkman later in the afternoon and I popped over to his place to end my New Year. Finding transport was … tricky. There were too many well dressed people on the road looking for a ride, and all the while I found myself wishing DESPERATELY for someone to drive my car back to Anthony. But I eventually got a cab.

I think the year started off pretty good. I swore off resolutions years ago, but I definitely have a list of things I need to do this year. I think I’ll put that up Friday. Right now, I gotta run home!

Self-Expression at Work!

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to the management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative ‘TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of idea nad information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f__k you’re doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a f__king b__ch.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f__k do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f__king way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh_ting me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f__king problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f__k?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This s**t won’t work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f__k didn’t you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__k it, I’m on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: Idon’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__!

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f__king job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f__k died and made you the boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Certain Something

I’m slacking in my posts. I know. But…

There’s only one thing I want to talk about.

This thing… not sleeping well anymore… squandering my nights on it…

This thing… don’t have credit anymore… spending all my credit on it…

This thing… This thing… taking risks … get home late at night…

This thing… I’m not complaining… about this thing…

.. I’m quite enjoying… this thing…

To be continued…eventually…